I would like free Domino’s pizza for a year. I would like it for a month. I would like it for a week. I would like one free Domino’s pizza. A slice for free would do. In fact, right at this moment, one slice of pepperoni from Domino’s would do just fine, thanks – as long as it was free.
The reason I would like the above, is because Domino’s pizza is nice and I enjoy eating it. It tastes nice in my mouth, tastes nice on my fingers, and it tasted nice on my lap that time I dropped it there “by accident”.
And now, there’s a chance I could indulge my love for pizza to gluttonous heights.
Domino’s has launched its own Honours List – you know, like the Queen’s one – except in this case, instead of getting a poxy medal that means jack shit, you get free pizza for a year.
If you are recognised by The Order of the Domino's Empire, you’ll be able to place a respected ODE after your name, you’ll get a non-poxy medal made by Toye & Co.(the same lot that knock out the Queen’s ones), and – I’ll say it again to make sure you understand – FREE. PIZZA. FOR. A. YEAR.
All you’ve got to do is be a good person (oh shit, I’m out) – Domino’s will “reward people exhibiting extraordinary services to sport, entertainment and humankind.”
To nominate someone (I assume you can nominate yourself), chuck a gushing email over to ODE@dominos.co.uk.
The pizza chain will also reward one staff member. Candidates this year include Amir Haghigbi, who you might remember as the guy who delivered DJ Artwork some pizza while he was on a train; then there’s Alex Brindley, who actually married his branch’s hometown of Stone; or maybe it’ll be Maria Stoica, who delivered a baby while on a delivery.
Good luck beating any of that.
Louise Butler, spokeswoman for Domino’s, said: “We are really excited about awarding the first ODE honours later this year, both to faces we know and some lesser known people who are equally deserving to be recognised.”
Realistically, you’re not going to win this, are you? It’s for nice, wholesome, good people.
I know what you did last summer.
(Images: Rex/Mikael Buck/Domino’s)