Food & Drink

Hello, so… this is a Chickle

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Gary Ogden
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I genuinely don’t think you’ve ever met anyone that likes pickled stuff as much as me. I will eat anything if it is pickled – gherkins, cabbage (particularly sauerkraut, which is the greatest invention in mankind’s history), eggs, onions, beetroot, kimchi, cauliflower, apple, garlic, peppers, eyeballs – just everything. Have you had a pickled egg? It’s better than a normal egg. Everything is better when it’s been pickled.

That’s why the news that a minor league baseball team in the US called The Fresno Grizzlies has created a sandwich BUT THE BREAD IS A PICKLE, is wonderful. They’ve basically shoved a load of Nashville chicken (hot, shredded) into a giant gherkin, and called it a Chickle. This is a great idea and I would like to be friends with whoever came up with it.

Not only is it extremely pickle-centric, it’s also low in carbs, because there isn’t any bread anymore, because it’s A PICKLE. I once tried the same type of thing with a whole cucumber, by cutting it in half lengthways and filling the middle with cheese and ham. It was a disaster because I put bare mayonnaise in, and this caused the whole thing to slide around like Danny Devito on ice. It was extremely difficult to eat. 4/10, would not eat again.

Either way, I’m bang in for this pickle sandwich, because if you look, they haven’t made my mistake of separating both sides of the pickle – they’ve just opened it like a hot dog bun. Also, it’s not the same size as a whole cucumber – it’s probably doable in two/three bites. Not much time to fuck things up.

This thing is fucking wicked, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Wait, yes I would – I’d have it with sauerkraut on it and a pickleback on the side. Then afterwards I’d have two pickled eggs, then I’d go outside to my shed where I keep all my jars of leftover pickle juice, then I’d transport them back up the garden, up the stairs, into my bathroom and I’d pour them into my bath. Then once the bath was full, I would submerge my entire body in the pungent green liquid, and lie there for two months until a thick film of mould formed on the surface. Only then would I have achieved my dream: to become the world’s first perfectly pickled human.

Anyway, I am 100% going to make one of these ‘Chickle’ things when I get home. What a great last meal.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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