Veganuary’s become quite a big thing this year hasn’t it? And I can absolutely see the appeal: smash down those veggies, purify yourself and restore your body to become the temple that it deserves to be. Would love to do it, really I would, but sadly, never gonna happen. Why? Five letters, one delicious meat mate: bacon. There’s absolutely no way I could give up one of the greatest things that exists on Earth. If anything, it would be rude.
Sometimes the only thing that gets me through a hard week of toiled away in the content mines is the thought of my Saturday morning bacon sandwich and packet of McCoy’s while Sky Sports News plays in the background, looping endlessly, forever, never to cease. But then, a crazy, wild thought: what if I’ve been doing it wrong? What if I have not been making my bacon sandwich in the optimum manner? This would be a crushing blow, one from which I doubt I’d recover, until I’d eaten at least three bacon sandwiches (prepared in the newly-learned correct manner) to restore my shattered soul.
Luckily though, a new survey of 2,000 adults in the UK has been conducted on ‘the correct way to serve a bacon sandwich’. It’s been commissioned by Holiday Inn Express, and the results are in. This, as Montell Jordan once (nearly) sang, is how you do it:
-Untoasted white bread
-Butter on the bread
-Evenly spread layer of ketchup
-This is not explicitly specified, but we imagine there’s bacon between the bread too
So there you have it. Be gone with you brown sauce. And, apparently there is no toasting allowed, which we feel is a little restrictive, as a touch of light toasting can do wonders to revive the spirits of a slice of bread which is perhaps a day or two old, encasing your bacon in a warm bready blanket - perfect for a cold day, perhaps.
Other stellar findings include one in four people declaring that the smell of bacon alone is enough to get them out of bed in the morning, while one in three said that a bacon sandwich tastes better when someone else has made it for them.
Meanwhile, it seems I am not alone in my Veganuary struggles: only one in four men said that they could give up bacon, compared to one in three women. Which means that men are either weaker, or just love bacon more. It’s probably both isn’t it?
To celebrate this cutting-edge piece of research, Holiday Inn Express are apparently giving away free bacon baps around London - not sure exactly when or where yet, but check their Facebook page for details. We’re certainly not turning down free bacon baps and neither should you.
Have another picture of some bacon and don’t say that don’t treat you good.