The Queen to announce Arsene Wenger will leave Arsenal at the end of the season

Posted by
Alex Finnis


Queen Elizabeth II is set to announce that Arsene Wenger is to leave Arsenal at the end of the season, following 21 years in charge of the club.

Wenger has led the Gunners to three Premier League titles and six FA Cups – but has failed to win the league since the 2003/04 season – and sources close to The Queen say she’s become fed up with the club’s lack of silverware.

It is believed that she came close to pulling the trigger after yet another round-of-16 Champions League exit – the embarrassing 10-0 aggregate defeat to German giants Bayern Munich – but she decided to hold off on making the decision until the end of the season, to give Wenger a chance to guide his side into the top four of the Premier League once again.

Now though, after the limp 2-0 defeat to Tottenham on Sunday, it’s said she has had enough.

Many are questioning why the Queen of England has any kind of remit to sack the manager of a football club she has zero involvement with, and does not even support. 

But her response to that, insiders claim, was to tell doubters: “I’m the Queen and I can do whatever the fuck I want. Piers Morgan and that DT off Arsenal Fan TV are right, Wenger’s done, and I’m taking this decision into my own hands. It’s over.”

There is no word yet on who is to replace Wenger, but the Queen has reportedly told sources it will “100% not be Prince Charles. There’s no way that dickhead’s ever getting a job.”