He was born on the side of the century that makes millennials anxiously check for grey hairs and when Henrik Larsson was in his last season at Celtic Park, but Karamoko Dembele is already better at football than you will ever be.
You read that, and you thought ‘I reckon I could still take him.’ You think he’d rock up in front of you, doing deft little stepovers and cute tricks, and with one flick of your leg you’d hoof him high into the air. He’d try and knock past you and you’d barge him into the stands like a puny bumper car filled with helium. Even though the closest you’ve come to ‘making it’ as a professional was once falling over in front of a scout who had come to watch someone else, you still reckon you’re better than little Karamoko.
Well you’re wrong. Obviously. The Ivorian teenager was named in last night's Celtic U20's squad to face Hearts in the SPFL Development League, coming on to replace 16-year-old Jack Aitchison in the 81st minute. (A lil' bit of trivia: Aitchison himself is Celtic's youngest ever first-time player and goalscorer.)
Dembele is seven years his surnamesake (no relation) and teammate Moussa’s junior, but he’s now a fully-fledged member of the Celtic U20s team. The Hoops are now in the bizarre situation of having two prodigal Dembeles is the same squad. Two golden Bhoys.
Here he is tearing up a youth tournament, like you never did.
Here he is being generally incredible at football, like you never were.
Here he is making his professional debut, like you never will.
Face it, he's better than you. He's being labelled the 'next Messi', so there's a good chance he might be better than everyone. Remember the name: Karamoko Dembele.