Films

Great news alert: Jeff Goldblum is returning to the Jurassic Park franchise

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Gary Ogden
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Hey, everyone, let’s all agree on this one thing, yeah:

JURASSIC PARK IS DA BAYST.

Good, glad we’ve got all that sorted. Also, The Lost World is great; Jurassic Park III is pretty good actually, better than you remember it; and Jurassic World is very fun and you only didn’t think it was amazing because you were comparing it to the original, and nothing compares to that. So yeah, I welcome a sequel – Jurassic World 2 will probably be a big old nice laugh at the piccies.

Especially considering today’s huge news: Jeff Goldblum is returning to the franchise. Yes, the best character (apart from the T-Rex) is back, hopefully with some sort of leather jacket and a shirt open all the way down to his pubis. Nobody will ever be as cool as Ian Malcolm (apart from the T-Rex), so the news he’s back on the team is music to my uncool ears. It’s the kind of news that would make a T-Rex try and clap.

The next sequel will be directed by J. A. Bayona, who directed the oh-my-God-when-will-these-tears-stop-pouring-out-of-my-face gut-puncher A Monster Calls, so he’s got good experience with giant scary creatures, which is nice. However, if he turns it into a seriously-I’m-getting-worried-for-my-emotional-well-being-here-because-I-cannot-actually-stop-crying weepy then I won’t be happy. I’m not in this bizz for that type of nonsense, Bayona.

Although, regardless of what it ends up being like, it’s still going to rip the box office a new one. Did you know that Jurassic World is the fourth highest grossing film in history? That’s insane. Dinosaurs=punters, still.

Anyway, it’ll be roaring/stomping/chomping/erm, spitting into cinemas in June 2018. Very exciting.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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