Books

Biff and Chip was full of hidden NSFW scenes and we never even noticed

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Alex Finnis
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Biff and Chip was full of hidden NSFW scenes and we never even noticed

We all remember Biff and Chip - they were a formative part of all of our early years, and probably helped teach you to read.

Actually, it was Biff, Kipper and Chip, but no one ever remembers Kipper, do they? He was always the forgotten child. He’s probably gone off the rails now, bitter at his siblings’ fame, cursing them as he knocks back a half-can of Red Stripe he left on the kitchen table the previous evening.

Sorry, that kind of removes the delightful innocence from the stories and characters, doesn’t it? But then I shouldn’t apologise, as the books have actually been sneaking in extremely NSFW pictures and references all this time, and hardly anyone has noticed.

If you were going to write a list of things that should definitely, 100% not be included in a children’s book, you would write drugs. You would write alcohol. You would write sex. You might not even think to write dogging. Surely not.

But look at the scene below, in the background. You can see two men and a woman disappear into the bushes, and then, on the following page, and old woman walking past, and being so startled that her glasses fall off.

If you saw that sort of thing going on in broad daylight with children around, your cartoon glasses would probably fall off too.

This very deliberate bit of mischief was noticed by Ed Brody on Twitter, and has been retweeted more than 5,000 times.

And its also triggered others to tweet out their own dirty Biff and Chip spots - see, it turns out the books are semi-littered with these types of scenes.

Below, you can see a group of school children playing with some building blocks that spell out ‘hepatitis’.

And look closely at the very right of this scene below - a scene of a girls’ changing room.

Yeah, for some reason there’s a male priest just standing there, with a fully terrifying, creepy expression on his face. It’s mildly traumatic for a grown adult to look at, let alone a five-year-old child.

The good thing about all this is that now, if you’ve turned out as a right ratbag of an adult - a hopeless layabout failure - you can blame Biff and Chip (and Kipper) for your troubles. There were subliminally poisoning your mind from a young age and it is all their fault, mum.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and pick up my cartoon glasses.

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Alex Finnis

Alex is the Editor of ShortList.com

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