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Ten Greatest Fake Simpsons Products

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As well as being the scene for a never-ending series of adventures and stories, Springfield is also home to a thriving production industry. Powered by the safe and highly-regulated nuclear power plant, these factories produce an array of products, some more useful than others. We take a look at some of the brand-leaders, and let us know any we might have missed in the comments section below....

Images: Matt Groening and The Simpsons/Mattel

MALK

Milk. A simple, healthy drink, full of calcium. Drink a pint a day say the Brits. 'Got Milk?' Say the Americans. Yet again, the people of Springfield refused to rest on their laurels and decided to improve on it. Take milk, add Vitamin R, and You Got Malk. Turns out Vitamin R is Ritalin, but at least that stops the kids making so much noise on the bus. Better for everyone.

DÜFF BEER

Where else to start but the world-famous thirst-quencher Duff Beer? Famously the cause of and solution to all of life's problems, if you're feeling down, or simply want to start the party in Moe's Place, get a Duff Beer down you. We've chosen the German version, Düff for two reasons: 1. German beer is better and 2. Anything with an umlaut on is cool.

KRUSTY RIBWICH BURGER

After a night on the Duffs, you're going to need some fine fresh food to sate your appetite. Well you won't find that at Krusty Burger, but you will pick up a tasty Ribwich to munch through on your stagger back home.

SCRABBLESHIPS

Scrabble is brilliant, Battleships is brilliant - put them together and what have you got? Scrabbleships. Twice as brilliant, although it's not entirely clear how it works. Homer knows though. Homer is wise.

KRUSTY-O'S

It's the most important meal of the day so it's essential to choose your breakfast carefully. What better than Krusty O's, a nutrition-free food with flesh-eating bacteria in each packet? It may not be good for your health, but at least it's more exciting than Muesli.

ITCHY & SCRATCHY CLONING & KILLING MACHINE

It's a familiar tale, you spend your whole life trying to kill your sworn enemy and when you finally achieve it, it leaves a somewhat hollow feeling. You've reached your goal, so what's left? Simple. Clone your nemesis with this bit of kit, kill them again for fun, and then when you get a bit bored, get a killing machine to take care of it. Jane Austen wrote about this sort of thing all the time.

KRUSTY'S HOME PREGNANCY TEST

Another quality product from the Krusty range, when you want to know whether you'll be hearing the pitter-patter of tiny feet in 9 months' time, the only test to use is the Krusty Home Pregnancy Kit. Of course, it does warn that it may cause birth defects, but then so does drinking and smoking and everyone does that, right?

BUZZ COLA

Duff rules the world of beer, and Buzz rules the world of soft drinks. With its advertising slogan of 'twice the sugar, twice the caffeine' that surely makes it even better than the real thing...

NUTS AND GUM

A testament to the sheer creative genius of Homer Simpson, these two perfectly complimentary foodstuffs come together in perfect harmony to create the product that everyone's been waiting for: Nuts & Gum. Go to any pub and you'll probably find something similar in an ashtray.

SQUISHEE

It's always worth a trip to the Kwik-E-Mart on a hot day to pick up a delicious squishee. They contain no natural ingredients, create dangerous cases of brain freeze and, if ingested in sufficient quantities, have hallucinatory properties. People pay good money for that sort of stuff in Amsterdam.

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