It feels like the trainer world has peaked with all this Flyknit stuff, comfort technology and other words no one could possibly understand to justify the astronomical price. We'd rather head back to the good ol' days where we had our trainers bought for us; back to bulky hi-tops and velcro straps.
If you have the lack of self-respect you need to get your mum to buy your trainers for you, here are the top retro trainers you should go for (or, y'know, you could buy them yourself... your call).
Marty McFly, eat your heart out.
K-Swiss Lozan III
The shoe so white it got dirty just looking at it.
Nothing like cracking out a new pair of these for a sports centre birthday party.
Nike Air Jordan VI
Made you jump higher even though they weighed you down.
Fila Cage Basketball
Get your tracksuits on boys, we're going to sit on a park bench.
Nike Air Pegasus
They're dirty and still better than anything Yeezy related.
Reebok Pump Omni Lite
Remember before Crep spray when you got your shoes dirty you had to clean them with your tears? Good times.
Ellesse tennis trainers
You definitely didn't play tennis in them, but you definitely jumped gardens in them.
Dunlop Green Flash
Just had to have that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle green in your life.
Nike Air Max 90
If you were to describe the nineties in one colour it'd surely be this pink.
Sweet kicks. Get it?! That was a cheap joke, we're sorry.
Remember drinking Capri-Suns in these thinking you were an absolute player?
Puma Trimm Quick
Leaving the Littlewoods catalogue open on a page these were on close to your birthday so your mum would notice.
Your bog-standard PE shoes that you'd now wear to do masculine Sunday activities in, like building a shed.
These would look killer with your old bootcut jeans...