Have you got a scarf on? No? It's November, mate. Your grandmother would be fuming if she knew you were out in wintery conditions in less than four layers.
Check out these pictures of real men rocking scarves on the street, because sometimes you need the assurance that actual human beings are pulling them off rather than highly paid models with imploding cheekbones.
Football and fashion don't normally go hand in hand, as wearing nice threads to a match could see a big dry cleaning bill for blood and beer, plus professional footballers are the peacocks of the sporting world: too many feathers, too little brains. However, sports inspired scarves are a stylish exception to the rule, giving you a Nineties hooligan edge even if you're a gentrified, middle-class graphic designer.
Can't afford a new scarf? Just take the blanket from your sofa and drape it around you, because you never know when you might need a hungover nap come Christmas work party season.
But in all seriousness, blanket scarves are a thing, and they are incredibly warm and are a prime statement accessory for those wanting to go all out with their winter style.
Silk scarves can be a bit light, and if you live in a windy town, it's inevitable you're going to be chasing yours down a high street, looking like an absolute twat. To stop this from happening, tie a clever knot in it and hope you don't catch it on a door handle and strangle yourself to death.
If you're not one for loud prints, there is a different way you can stand out: texture: Keep the colour simple but go for a super interesting material and feel like you're wearing some sort of exotic animal around your neck without the fear of getting paint chucked at you. Pffft, PETA ruin everything fun.
Credit: Martell Campbell
Just because it's not the 1920s doesn't mean you can't dress like it is. Match your tweed suit to your chunky, tasseled scarf. Hell, why stop there with the retro living? Get rid of your central heating and mobile phone, work down a mine, have a severely reduced life expectancy.
If this guy was your university teacher, you knew you were going to leave class with some serious wisdom and perplexing philosophical thoughts. Just look at that brown flecked coat, autumnal geometric print scarf and grey tipped beard, he's one tobacco pipe away from hosting a free flow poetry class.
Rupert the Bear had it right all along, check scarves are an absolute classic. Whatever you're wearing, wherever you're going, whatever year it is, a check design is your fail-safe option that'll always be on trend.
Skulls are cool. Why? Nobody really knows why we're fascinated with something that reminds us of our own inevitable demise, but they are, so let's not question it too much. Wear the deathly printed layer with an all black outfit to fully achieve the gothic aesthetic.
Ties? Who wears ties anymore? You leave yourself opened to getting it pulled into a knot on a night out or drunkenly shaming yourself by doing a Rambo at a Christmas party. Don't chance it, swap one for a silk dress scarf instead with a decadent print. You might freeze to death, but at least the paramedics will think you look fly as hell.
Has Negan from The Walking Dead awoken your need to wear a leather jacket and wrapped scarf as well as a worrying bloodlust? Then you're in luck, because his style is actually achievable for someone who stars in a post-apocalyptic show about zombies.
'Curly Locks' here proves that sometimes less is more when adding on accessories. Prints and loud colours don't always equal a grade A outfit, more often than not a plain and simple scarf is all you need.
We know Ralph Fiennes isn't technically a 'regular guy', but we'll let him off seeing how he's an absolute lad and all round lovely guy who's not afraid to compromise the sharpness of his suit with a practical spotted scarf.
It's a sad, sad day when a 14-year-old is out-dressing you. Romeo Beckham, we salute you and your Burberry scarf that costs the same amount as our monthly rent.
Image credit: Rex/Getty, Lookbook.nu