Sorry guys, but I’m calling it now. America is officially the biggest joke country in the world right now. Sure the UK is putting a good effort in, but the US is really running away with it. Don’t start complaining though - you’ve got no one else to blame but yourself (well, maybe Vladimir Putin), you voted him in and he’s delivering everything he said he would, and much, much more.
The much, much more from President Donald J. Trump (still find it hard to write that) being the ‘surely this is a joke, oh no, he’s actually serious’ creation of the ‘sixth wing’ of the military, the ‘Space Force’.
Back in March, he first floated the idea, saying, “We should have a new force called the Space Force. It’s like the Army and the Navy, but for space, because we’re spending a lot of money on space,” but few thought he’d ever go through with it.
When will we learn, though, because in May, he formally ordered the US military to begin the process of establishing a Space Force, saying:
“It is not enough to merely have an American presence in space. We must have American dominance in space.’m hereby directing the Department of Defense and Pentagon to immediately begin the process necessary to establish a space force as the sixth branch of the armed forces.”
However, despite the fact that, er, it already exists as the Air Force Space Command, a part of the United States Air Force, on we must go with the show and, naturally, the first thing to sort out is not purpose, budgets, protocols, missions or any of that boring stuff. No, what you want to sort out before anything else at all is the logo.
This is crucial.
So, Brad Pascale, Trump’s 2020 re-election campaign manager (he’s going to win isn’t he? Yes he is), has emailed supporters asking them vote for one of six prospective designs.
All of which, apparently, were created by a child.
Just take a look at these:
Many observers were keen to question the use of ‘Mars Awaits’ on the design. Are we expecting a lot of military action on Mars? Are the Martians busy prepping an army over there? Because otherwise why on earth would a Space Force want to go to Mars?
NASA are already on the case with getting there guys, so maybe just give them a call and they can strap a couple of nukes to the SLS; they can multitask while they’re over there.
“President Trump wants a space force – a groundbreaking endeavour for the future of America and the final frontier,” wrote Pascale in the email.
Perhaps his carers - sorry - associates think that because Donald said he’d scream and scream until he got a Space Force to play with, that making some nice shiny logos will be enough to keep him happy until he thinks of something else he wants, like an ice cream.
He’s definitely getting re-elected in 2020 isn’t he.
Let’s nuke Pluto!! America! U! S! A!
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