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Alternate Movie Openings That Are Better Than The Original

Alternate Movie Openings That Are Better Than The Original

Alternate Movie Openings That Are Better Than The Original

For those picky, picky writers who couldn't just write the one introduction, here's a rundown of times where they diversified - and got it wrong.

Being a scriptwriter must be a right old slog. You've got to dazzle a studio, director and audience, whilst still ensuring the resulting movie fulfills your own bloated ego. No wonder, then, that there can often be more than one opening to a film.

But whether the following openings didn't make the cut due to directorial posturing, being the mercy of the big bucks studio or even just so there'd be some decent DVD extras, those involved in the snub need to take five minutes on the naughty step, as these are genuinely better than the originals.

(Images: YouTube)

1. Iron Man 2 (2010)

The opening we all know: Tony Stark divebombs out of his jet. AC/DC plays. Fireworks flare. He majestically lands at Stark Expo while cheerleaders gyrate and the crowd go wild.

The alternate opening: A hungover Tony Stark hugs a toilet bowl, demands pain killers and politely* (*not politely) declines the offer of a pill most often used for menstrual cramps. After a dose of oxygen, a botched attempt to abort the mission and a quip about his barnet, Stark dives out of the plane after his helmet. Downey Jr at his finest, most probably because he's basically playing himself.


2. G.I. Jane (1997)

The opening we all know: A bolshy Washington senator berates the US forces for their outdated, sexist implementation of female troops. It's tense, it's moody it's... a little boring, if we're perfectly honest.

The alternate opening: In one scene, a figure resembling an S&M Hells Angel flies down a Skeleton Bob track at breakneck speed. In the next, the same figure is getting dressed in traditional Navy regalia, looking both powerful and yet innately feminine. Neither scene is boring.


3. Scooby-Doo (2002)

The opening we all know: The Warner Bros logo has a bite taken out of it and replaced by SD (take a wild guess what that stands for...), there are minimal credits and then it's straight into Sarah Michelle Gellar being wedgied by a ghost.

The alternate opening: A spooky sequence that drops into the original and iconic Scooby-Doo cartoon of the '70s, and gives context to the forthcoming ghost storyline, allowing the movie's soundtrack, sung by Shaggy, to be played in all its um, glory.


4. Scream 4 (2011)

The opening we all know: A self-spoofing film within a film within a film, the audience is left with a bit of a headache as to who's real, or whether the camera's just going to pan out from other Stab sequel instead. Ends with a squashed spine, blood-curdling scream and the familiar bloody knife.

The alternate opening: A tweaked version of the above, the farce is stretched out even further with characters and viewer alike equally confused whether another punking is underway, or death is actually coming. Turns out it's both, as Marnie giggles at Jenny's bloody murder before realising it's not actually a big joke.


5. The Incredible Hulk (2008)

The opening we all know: Squeezing a movie's worth of information into a brief credit montage, Ed Norton's Hulk goes predictably potty when wired up for a lab observation and then goes on the run.

The alternate opening: After hitching a ride on a lorry, a parka-clad Norton scales snowy mountain and rocky peak, before morphing into everyone's favourite green giant (except maybe The Green Giant). Apparently pulled for being too scary for kids, the sequence is steeped in meta, as Captain America makes a blink-and-you'll-miss it cameo, encased in a block of ice.


6. The Beach (2000)

The opening we all know: Fresh off a flight from the US, Leonardo DiCaprio ambles his way through a Bangkok market and takes in the local talent and traders, culminating in a heady cocktail of snake's blood surrounded by men wearing eye patches and large biceps.

The alternate opening: Giving more context to his escape to paradise, Richard's monologue talks about his need to escape the humdrum normality of home, and is welcomed to Bangkok by a cheeky tuk tuk driver, who arms him with a water pistol to usher in Thai New Year. Cue drive-by soakings and Leo LOLs.


7. Toy Story (1995)

The opening we all know: Andy stages his very own Western by way of a dastardly Mr Potato Head, sheep hostages and attack slinkies. Woody saves the day. Of course he does.

The alternate opening: Adding a layer of the Buzz Lightyear hysteria that soon envelopes wee Andy, the original opening (which was only ever storyboarded) sees a clip of Buzz's TV show, where he saves the world from the evil Zurg, chucks in his catchphrase and offically starts his love affair with Andy. No, not literally.


8. The Godfather Part III (1990)

The opening we all know: Michael Corleone pens a letter to the children he's roundly ignored during his reign as a career criminal and mob boss, in hope they'll attend the church ceremony honouring his charity work.

The alternate opening: Pastiching Coppolla's own iconic opening from The Godfather, the camera starts on the archbishop and slowly pans out to reveal Corleone. Evidently too good for the cutting room floor, an amended version of this scene appears later in the film.


9. Wanted (2008)

The opening we all know: A pop culture orgy, James McAvoy's Wesley grumbles about celebrating the birthday of his "anorexic boss", admits to his friend servicing his girlfriend on their IKEA worktop and then Googles his own name, which yields no results. Unlikely, given there's 6,000,000,000 people on Earth, and there must be at least one Wesley Gibson whose done something, anything, on the internet.

The alternate opening: Fully explaining the Fraternity lore, an ancient king is slain by an arrow that defies the realms of physics. It's even less believable than the above online error, but is far easier on the eye.


10. The Avengers (2012)

The opening we all know: A brooding, gravelly voiceover talks of the Tesseract being awoken, and how the human race shall burn.

The alternate opening: The aftermath of a disaster - smoke fills the screen, cars are upturned, fire rages as soldiers, police and fire officers try to help the survivors. Agent Maria Hill discusses the folly of Nick Fury, and it becomes abundantly clear that the cycloptic character's plan to unite the Avengers has, perhaps predictably, ended in disaster. And just in case it isn't clear, Hulk screams into camera and possibly ruins your underwear.