Last night, the Donald Trump campaign bandwagon stopped off at an agricultural centre in Iowa.
Backed by spangled banners and flocking eagles, the Republican front-runner took to the stage with his familiar smirk (though he could have bad wind, we're not sure) to welcome the ace in his hole - a very special person, someone who Trump was "honoured" to have - a ringing endorsement from former vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin.
Donald Trump and Sarah Palin. Talking "politics".
Here are the highlights of just some of the crazy that was slapped around.
Spin doctors
"Mr Trump, you're right!"
It began as a double act - a children's entertainment duo: Mr Trump and Mistress Palin, the clowns of US political power.
"Look back there in the press box! [Cue dramatic spiral of finger] Heads are spinning! Media heads are spinning. This is going to be *so* much fun."
Bawdy "Yeah!"s from the audience
The war path
"Are you ready for a commander-in-chief who will let our warriors do their job and go kick ISIS ass? Ready for someone who will secure our borders, to secure our jobs and secure our homes?"
Are you ready for a president who will actively seek out a prerogative to go to war and kill people? Ready for a man who will gladly wall of Mexico in the name of Freedom?
We aren't.
Middle Eastern policy outlined
"We’re paying for some of their squirmishes [genuinely what she said] that have been going on for centuries, where they’re fighting each other and yelling ‘Allah Akbar’ calling jihad on each other’s forever and ever. Like I’ve said before, let them duke it out and let Allah sort it out."
Suicide vests
"He, being the only one who is willing... he's got the guts to wear the issues that need to be spoken about and debated on his sleeve [points to sleeve], where the rest of some of these establishment candidates, they just wanted to duck and hide. They didn’t want to talk about these issues until he brought them up. In fact, they’ve been wearing this political correctness kind of like a suicide vest - and enough is enough."
Damn Republican candidates, acting like ISIS bombers.
The angry mob
"'Well, you guys are sounding kind of angry,' is what we’re hearing from the establishment... Doggone right we’re angry! Justifiably so! Yes! You know, they stomp on our neck and then they tell us, 'Just chill, okay just relax.' Well, look, we are mad, and we’ve been had."
Doggone right.
Another Islam dig
"He’s been going rogue left and right - that’s why he’s doing so well! He’s been able to tear the veil off of this idea of the system."
We get it - he doesn't like Muslims. Move on.
Raise the roof
"Can I get a Hallelujah?!"
She bloody well did.
Spitting some rhymes
"We’re not gonna chill - in fact, we’re gonna drill, baby, drill!"
We're not even sure what that means.
Trump signs off...
"We're going to give them hell."
Everyone. Unless your colours are pinned to the far right of the mast, this is political hell.
