There’s a new Netflix film on the horizon, everybody, which means that: there’s a new Netflix trailer on the horizon, everybody. Today’s trailer is for the film Mute, which comes hot from director Duncan Jones, whose name you may recognise if you ever saw Moon or Source Code or Warcraft or David Bowie at a party and he mentioned that his son was famous film director Duncan Jones.
Here’s the trailer:
And what can we learn from it? Well, this:
Who’s in it?
- Alexander Skarsgård - the sexy, sinewy, Swedish hunk who played Tarzan in the 2016 film (there was a 2016 Tarzan film? Guess so)
- Paul Rudd - everyone’s favourite blokeTM
- Justin Theroux - that actor who is actually, when you really think about it, good in everything (apart from in Charlies’ Angels: Full Throttle, obviously)
Does it have a good name?
Yes, Mute is a great title for a movie. It tells you something about what you’re about to watch (there’s a mute person in it) and also it’s a bit, you know, mysterious. Additionally, one-word titles are great and there should be more of them. Fact.
What other films does it look like?
It looks like: Blade Runner, Blade Runner 2049, Altered Carbon (TV), Ghost in the Shell, That Other One With Neon Billboards In It.
What’s the most unrealistic moment?
I’m no scientist here, but popping a big bubblegum bubble when sporting a beard and moustache is highly ill-considered and would create a gigantic, foul mess that would take a considerate amount of time and effort to dislodge. As such, I feel that people with beards, moustaches and a rudimentary understanding of how bubblegum works, would just not take the risk in this cavalier endeavour. I know it’s sci-fi, but don’t take me for a fool.
Also, it’s 2052, your phone’s a brick, mate:
Is the soundtrack good?
Kind of. It’s 2018’s equivalent of the Inception trailer horn - the vocoder hum. See examples of its close-relatives in the trailers for Transformers: The Last Knight, Battle: Los Angeles, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destinyet al.
It’s basically Bon Iver’s Woods, isn’t it? How atmospheric.
Who did it better? Those two bozos with the dumb facepaint at 1:30, Wes Borland from Limp Bizkit or Jean-Claude Van Damme in Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning?
Think probably Wes Borland just edges it here. He is, after all, the ‘edgiest’.
Are there any car chases in it?
Not confirmed, but there’s definitely some fast and irresponsible driving. Although it may look like a ‘laugh-riot’, sticking yourself out of a sun roof and flipping two birds whilst in a tunnel, is in fact, likely to cause a great big clonking on that large wide and very smarmy forehead of yours.
How many explosions though?
Only one, and it’s on a computer game - which is a little disappointing but you never know. Explosions are - for the most part - directly related to the quality of a film, and to leave them out of the marketing material is a risky move. I pray to the Lord above that they know what they’re doing.
Accurate joke count
- Noel Clarke’s dancing in the bar
- Justin Theroux’s hair and/and cardigan
- Paul Rudd saying “No soda” and doing a comical point, I think is meant to be ‘light-hearted’
- “Are you gonna gimme some, uh, trouble big boy? Or you gonna channel that famous Amish serenity, haha.”
Think it’s safe to say we’re not looking at a lot of jokes here, unless of course the movie lives up to the trailer’s joke ratio of four every 115 seconds, in which case, over the course of 2hr 6mins, or say, 1hr 58misn minus the credits, you’re looking at about 246 jokes. This of course transforms my original idea of what this film is like, as it appears it is now a gag-heavy spoof with a hit-rate matched only by the Naked Gun films.
Could be wrong about this though.
Are there any questionable accents in it?
Gilbert Owuor appears to be attempting some sort of Russian thing, complete with an overzealously pronounced “FACKKING”, and you know what? I dig it.
How exciting did I find this trailer, on the whole?
Is this another franchise?
Sort of, Duncan Jones has said it’s a spiritual sequel to Moon, and it looks like Sam Rockwell’s character may make a small appearance, most likely in cameo form. Which is fun, isn’t it? Cameos are fun, aren’t they? So fun, I remember when they made a whole movie about them: Zoolander 2.
Is there bowling in it?
Yep, big time is there bowling in it!
Does it star The Rock?
No, annoyingly it does not star The Rock, but in case you were wondering why, it’s because he’s doing all this instead.
Does the trailer contain any goddamn spoilers?
(SPOILER ALERT, OBVIOUSLY)
Yes, it does. In one scene (I won’t include a screenshot), you can clearly see the Skarsgård crying over a (presumably) dead body with blue hair, just like his girlfriend. Don’t show things like that in the trailer, thanks, don’t do that, cheers, can you not, much obliged. Hopefully it’s a clever little slimy red herring, but if it’s not, I’ll be having Mute’s guts for garters, make no mistake. Heinous unthinking bastards, the lot of them.
(END OF SPOILERS)
So, when can I watch this cinematic masterpiece?
You can watch it on 23 February on Netflix. Enjoy, you big nerd!