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The 75 most ridiculous Trump quotes

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Dave Fawbert
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The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 50

Has so much nonsense ever come from the mouth of one man in the whole of human history before?

There is no doubt: Donald Trump is box office.

Mind you, so was Hitler.

’The Donald’ has ridden in like a one-man hurricane, blowing the US Presidential race wide open, defying his many, many critics to sweep aside Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz, John Kasich and the rest to become the last man standing to be the Republican candidate in the race for the White House, before eventually, incredibly, winning the keys to them in November 2017.

Along the way, and in his former business life, he’s managed to offend pretty much everyone and everything, as well as regularly showing off his enormous ego and opinion of himself.

We present - and it’s by no means exhaustive - the most ridiculous Trumpisms so far. We’ll no doubt be updating this in the coming months…

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  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes

    On domestic policy

    "I think if this country gets any kinder or gentler, it's literally going to cease to exist."

    Playboy, March 1990

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 1

    On immigration

    "We're rounding 'em up in a very humane way, in a very nice way. And they're going to be happy because they want to be legalized. And, by the way, I know it doesn't sound nice. But not everything is nice."

    60 Minutes, 27/0/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 2

    On Syrian refugees

    "What I won't do is take in two hundred thousand Syrians who could be ISIS... I have been watching this migration. And I see the people. I mean, they're men. They're mostly men, and they're strong men. These are physically young, strong men. They look like prime-time soldiers. Now it's probably not true, but where are the women?... So, you ask two things. Number one, why aren't they fighting for their country? And number two, I don't want these people coming over here."

    Face the Nation, 11/10/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 3

    On border control

    "I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will have Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words."

    Campaign launch rally, 15/6/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 4

    On September 11th

    "I think I could have stopped it because I have very tough illegal immigration policies, and people aren't coming into this country unless they're vetted and vetted properly."

    Hannity, 20/10/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 5

    On education

    "[Overseas] we build a school, we build a road, they blow up the school, we build another school, we build another road, they blow them up, we build again. In the meantime we can't get a fucking school in Brooklyn."

    Speech in Las Vegas, 28/4/11

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 6

    On helping women

    "I will be phenomenal to the women. I mean, I want to help women."

    Face the Nation, 9/8/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 7

    On abortion

    “Do you believe in punishment for abortion – yes or no – as a principle?” 

    “The answer is there has to be some form of punishment.”

    “For the woman?”

    “Yeah, there has to be some form.”

    MSNBC, 30/3/16

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 8

    On gay marriage

    "It's like in golf... A lot of people - I don't want this to sound trivial - but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive... it's weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist."

    New York Times, 1/5/11

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 9

    On race

    "I have a great relationship with African Americans, as you possibly have heard. I just have great respect for them. And they like me. I like them."

    Anderson Cooper 360, 23/7/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 10

    On health care

    "The U.S. cannot allow EBOLA-infected people back. People that go to far away places to help out are great - but must suffer the consequences!"

    Twitter, 2/9/14

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 11

    On global warming

    "It's really cold outside, they are calling it a major freeze, weeks ahead of normal. Man, we could use a big fat dose of global warming!"

    Twitter, 19/10/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 12

    On gun control

    "No matter what you do - guns, no guns - it doesn't matter. You have people that are mentally ill. And they're gonna come through the cracks. And they're going to do things that people will not even believe are possible."

    Meet the Press, 4/10/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 13

    On the greatness of America

    "Our country is in serious trouble. We don't have victories any more. We used to have victories but [now] we don't have them. When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China, in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. All the time."

    Campaign launch rally, 15/6/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 14

    On Mexico

    "They're sending people that have lots of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people."

    Campaign launch rally, 15/6/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 15

    On fighting terrorism

    "When you see the other side chopping off heads, waterboarding doesn't sound very severe."

    This Week with George Stephanopoulos, 2/8/16

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 16

    On global warming

    "The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive."

    Twitter, 6/10/12

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 17

    On running for President

    "Well, if I ever ran for office, I'd do better as a Democrat than as a Republican - and that's not because I'd be more liberal, because I'm conservative. But the working guy would elect me. He likes me. When I walk down the street, those cabbies start yelling out their windows."

    Playboy, March 1990

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 18

    On Political Correctness

    "I think the big problem this country has is being politically correct. I've been challenged by so many people and I don't, frankly, have time for total political correctness."

    Fox News Republican debate, 6/8/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 19

    On why people would vote for him

    "To be blunt, people would vote for me. They just would. Why? Maybe because I'm so good looking."

    New York Times, 19/9/99

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 20

    On Making America Great Again

    "The line of 'Make America great again,' the phrase, that was mine, I came up with it about a year ago, and I kept using it, and everybody's using it, they are all loving it. I don't know, I guess I should copyright it, maybe I have copyrighted it."

    MyFox New York, March 2015

    ("Let's Make America Great Again" was one of Ronald Reagan's most well-known campaign slogans)

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 21

    On Hillary Clinton

    "If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?"

    Twitter, 16/4/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 22

    On fighting terrorism

    "If you look at Saddam Hussein, he killed terrorists. I'm not saying he was an angel, but this guy killed terrorists."

    The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, 2006

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 23

    On Jeb Bush

    "Jeb said, 'we were safe with my brother. We were safe.' Well, the World Trade Center just fell down! Now, am I trying to blame him? I'm not blaming anybody. But the World Trade Center came down. So when he said, we were safe, that's not safe."

    Fox News Sunday, 18/10/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 24

    On Rand Paul

    "I never attacked him on his looks, and believe me, there's plenty of subject matter right there."

    CNN Republican debate, 16/9/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 25

    On why he's the right candidate

    "I'm the most successful person ever to run for the presidency, by far. Nobody's ever been more successful than me. I'm the most successful person ever to run. Ross Perot isn't successful like me. Romney - I have a Gucci store that's worth more than Romney."

    Des Moines Register, 2/6/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 26

    On John McCain

    "[John McCain is]... not a war hero. He's a war hero - he's a war hero 'cause he was captured. I Like people that weren't captured, OK, I hate to tell you."

    Iowa Family Leadership Summit, 18/7/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 27

    On Arianna Huffington

    ".@arianahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man - he made a good decision."

    Twitter, 28/8/12

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 28

    On pop culture

    "My favourite part [of Pulp Fiction] is when Sam has his gun out in the diner and he tells the guy to tell his girlfriend to shut up. 'Tell that bitch to be cool. Say: Bitch be cool.' I love those lines."

    As quoted in TrumpNation: The Art of Being the Donald, 2005.

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 29

    On women in Hollywood

    "While @BetteMidler is an extremely unattractive woman, I refuse to say that because I always insist on being politically correct."

    Twitter, 28/10/12

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 30

    On Muslims

    "Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country's representatives can figure out what the hell is going on."

    7/12/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 31

    On Television Shows

    "Just tried watching Modern Family - written by a moron, really boring. Writer has the mind of a very dumb and backward child. Sorry Danny!"

    Twitter, 13/6/13

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 32

    On sharing his financial success

    "I look very much forward to showing my financials, because they are huge."

    TIME, 14/4/11

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 33

    On shaking hands

    "The concept of shaking hands is absolutely terrible, and statistically I've been proven right."

    Playboy, October 2004

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 34

    On his intelligence

    "Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest - and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault."

    Twitter, 9/5/13

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 35

    On self-maintenance

    "I think Viagra is wonderful if you need it, if you have medical issues, if you've had surgery. I've just never needed it. Frankly, I wouldn't mind if there were an anti-Viagra, something with the opposite effect. I'm not bragging. I'm just lucky. I don't need it."

    Playboy, October 2004

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 36

    On romance

    "All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected."

    Trump: How To Get Rich, 2004

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 37

    On romance

    "Certain guys tell me they want women of substance, not beautiful models. It just means they can't get beautiful models."

    New York Times, 19/9/99

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 38

    On family

    "She does have a very nice figure... If [Ivanka] weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her."

    The View, 2006

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 39

    On marriage

    "I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?"

    Vanity Fair, September 1990

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 40

    On beverages

    "I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke."

    Twitter, 14/10/12

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 41

    On egos

    "Show me someone with no ego and I'll show you a big loser."

    Trump: How To Get Rich, 2004

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 42

    On borrowing

    "As a kid, I was making a building with blocks in our playroom. I didn't have enough. So I asked my younger brother Robert if I could borrow some of his. He said, 'Okay, but you have to give them back when you're done.' I used all of my blocks, then all of his blocks, and when I was done I had a great building, which I then glued together. Robert never did get those blocks back."

    Esquire, January 2004

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 43

    On his intelligence

    "I'm intelligent. Some people would say I'm very, very, very intelligent."

    Fortune, 3/4/00

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 44

    On making money

    "I say, not in a braggadocios way, I've made billions and billions of dollars dealing with people all around the world."

    CNN Republican debate, 16/9/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 45

    On his body

    “My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.” 

    New York Post, 2011

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 46

    On historical events

    “I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen, down on 7-Eleven, down at the World Trade Center, right after it came down”

    Event in Buffalo, 19/4/16

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 47

    On Hillary Clinton


    "The only card she has is the woman's card. She's got nothing else to offer and frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don't think she'd get 5 percent of the vote. The only thing she's got going is the woman's card, and the beautiful thing is, women don't like her."

    Vox, 26/4/16

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 48

    On his fans

    "I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose voters."

    23/1/16

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 49

    On Megyn Kelly

    "You could see there was bloody coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever."

    CNN, 8/8/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 51

    On immigration

    “Why are we having all these people from shithole countries coming here?”

    White House meeting, 11/1/18

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 55

    On the Presidency

    “I loved my previous life. I had so many things going. This is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier.”

    Reuters, 28/8/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 52

    On appropriate things to say to hurricane survivors

    “What a crowd, what a turnout.” 

    Texas,  29/8/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 57

    On diversity within his fanbase

    “Look at my African-American!”

    Redding, California, 3/6/16

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 54

    On marriage and parenthood

    “I won’t do anything to take care of them. I’ll supply funds and she’ll take care of the kids. It’s not like I’m gonna be walking the kids down Central Park.”

    Howard Stern interview, 2005

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 56

    On Judaism

    “I’m a negotiator, like you folks.”

    Speech to the Republican Jewish Coalition, 3/12/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 53

    On breastfeeding mothers

    “You’re disgusting.”

    New York Times, 28/7/15

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 58

    On History

    “In life you have to rely on the past, and that’s called history.” 

    Celebrity Apprentice

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 59

    On Kim Jong-Un

    “Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me ‘old,’ when I would NEVER call him ‘short and fat?’ Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend - and maybe someday that will happen!”

    Twitter, 11/11/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 60

    On winning graciously

     “Crooked Hillary Clinton is the worst (and biggest) loser of all time. She just can’t stop, which is so good for the Republican Party. Hillary, get on with your life and give it another try in three years!”

    Twitter, 18/11/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 61

    On Russia

    “Russia will have much greater respect for our country when I am leading it than when other people have led it…If Putin likes Donald Trump, I consider that an asset, not a liability, because we have a horrible relationship with Russia.”

    Trump Tower Press Conference, 11/1/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 62

    On popularity within the FBI

    “I would bet if you took a poll in the FBI I would win that poll by more than anybody’s won a poll.”

    Fox & Friends, 15/6/18

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 63

    On taking inspiration from other leaders

    “[Kim Jong-Un] speaks and his people sit up at attention. I want my people to do the same.”

    Fox & Friends, 15/6/18

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 64

    On intelligence

    “Nobody has better respect for intelligence than Donald Trump.”

    CNN, 11/8/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 65

    On "the anti-missile"

    “We’re … increasing our budget by many billions of dollars, because of North Korea and other reasons, having to do with the anti-missile.”

    CNN, 11/8/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 66

    On health care

    “Nobody knew health care could be so complicated.”

    Washington Post, 27/2/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 67

    On the absolutely one-sided violence in Charlottesville

    “We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence on many sides. On many sides.”

    Washington Post, 12/8/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 68

    On the swamp

    “You know, I go to Washington and I see all these politicians, and I see the swamp. And it’s not a good place. In fact today I said we ought to change it from the word swamp to the word cesspool or, perhaps, to the word sewer.”
    National Scout Jamboree, 24/7/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 69

    On the telephone

    “If you look at President Obama and other presidents, most of them didn’t make calls. A lot of them didn’t make calls. I like to call when it’s appropriate.”

    16/10/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 71

    On diplomacy

    “North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!”
    Twitter, 2/1/18

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 70

    On racism

    “I’m the least racist person you have ever interviewed.”
    14/1/18

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 72

    On American football players kneeling during the National Anthem

    “At least 24 players kneeling this weekend at NFL stadiums that are now having a very hard time filling up. The American public is fed up with the disrespect the NFL is paying to our Country, our Flag and our National Anthem. Weak and out of control!” Twitter, 28/11/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 73

    On the Mueller Investigation

    “So they’re investigating something that never happened.”

    Press conference, 10/8/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 74

    On covfefe

    “Despite the constant negative press covfefe”

    Twitter, 31/5/17

  • The 50 most ridiculous Trump quotes 75

    On reality

    “What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening,”
    24/7/18

You can find a full selection of quotes in The Little Book of Trumpisms, compiled by Seth Millstein, out now

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