Back in the day, weather reports involved a person on telly sticking little paper sunshines on a big paper map. It was absolutely rubbish. That’s why old people talk about the weather so much – they grew up in a world where nobody knew what the weather was going to be like due to the hideous lo-fi reports on telly, so they’d go outside in a hurricane just wearing shorts and blow away.
Then along came improved green-screen technology and the type of weather reports we see every day – the lady from BBC breakfast making sweeping arm gestures as a cold front rolls across an impressively 3D map and place-names pop up as they arrive. Lovely stuff.
The Weather Channel in the US, however, has completely upped the game.
This report about Hurricane Florence, set to batter parts of the country this weekend, is the stuff of claustrophobic, post-apocalyptic, Waterworld-y nightmares. For the good stuff, skip to 40 seconds in.
Lunacy. Terrifying, total lunacy.
The Weather Channel is pretty badass though. Last year, when President Trump pulled the US out of the Paris climate accord, it went hell for leather on globalwarmingarticles, essentially calling the man a lying idiot. Then, when the government really dropped the ball in responding to victims of the hurricanes that hit Puerto Rico (which have been in the news again this week, with Trump claiming the death toll was made up by Democrats to make him look bad), they dedicated their entire online presence to reminding people what was – and, crucially, wasn’t – happening.
The Weather Channel, eh? Amazing. But it’ll never top the greatest weather report of all time, when the Tulsa, Oklahoma FOX affiliate let party king Andrew W.K. deliver the forecast.
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