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London estate agent says millennials should stop buying sandwiches if they want a house

Just eat gravel instead

London estate agent says millennials should stop buying sandwiches if they want a house
14 November 2017

First they came for our avocados. Then it was coffees. But now, according to a London estate agents, if you really want to buy a house, you’ve got to stop buying sandwiches.

That’s right, if you want to afford a place of your own, it’s time to get cooking gruel and licking gravel off the road for breakfast and be glad of it, you filthy urchins.

Calculations from agents Strutt & Parker have identified six ‘luxuries’ which millennials should consider cutting out in order to raise the £64,000 they’ll need for an average London deposit (oh by the way that’s the amount you’ll need after you’ve already borrowed substantially from the bank of mum and dad).

And they are, one fun-sapping item at a time: giving up a night out once a week (that’ll save you £6,000 a year); cutting out takeaways (£2,640 saving a year); preparing lunch at home instead of buying sandwiches (£2,576) and binning off one foreign city-break a year (£700). Oh, and you’ll have to stop playing the lottery (£832 - hang on, £16 a week? You’re the people that buy those £5 scratchcards aren’t you) and upgrading your phone (£154).

A delicious sandwich, BUT NOT FOR YOU

Stephanie McMahon, head of research, said: “Affordability is a problem for every major city around the world. In London, it is raising the deposit that is a particular challenge. Getting on the property ladder in London is harder than ever, and with an average deposit of £94,000, people are thinking, ‘What luxuries am I willing to forgo now that will pay off five years down the line?’ 

“Those lucky enough to have family that can help will receive an average of £29,400 towards their goal, but that still leaves £64,000 to find. Our research has shown that if a couple sacrifices six luxuries for at least five years, they can put away significant savings to help stretch up to that all-important first rung.”

Hear that millennials? Due to the ridiculous housing market that is nothing to do with you but more to do with the consistent failure of government policy over decades, you’ll just have to breeze through five years of not going out, not eating takeaways, not eating anything that isn’t prepared at home, not travelling and having a phone that doesn’t work because the latest software upgrade has buggered it. Oh, and don’t even think of trying to fluke your way out of it by playing the lottery and at least having a slither of a chance of escaping this hell because that’s not allowed either.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

(Images: Jaroslaw Ceborski/Pixabay/Rex)