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How not to lose contact with friends

Avoid being de-friended

How not to lose contact with friends
11 March 2011

“Let’s not leave it so long next time.” How many times do we utter, then utterly ignore, those words? Protocol and etiquette expert William Hanson ( helps us stay connected.

Social network sites make us passive. We see people updating their status so we don’t actually ask them how they are or what they are doing. “Take an active role by asking about their lives,” says Hanson, “rather than assuming that you already know.”

“You can’t interact with 400 friends,” he continues. “Identify 20 core ones - those who’d jump in front of a bus for you - and cement those relationships.”

Don’t use excuses. “If you say ‘I’ve been busy’, it sounds like they’re not that important,” Hanson warns. “And don’t use your partner as a reason, because it may cause friction. Be honest.”

“Interact with new people and expand your horizons,” he continues. “Then, when you meet your old friends, you’ve developed new skills.”

Compromise, especially if your lives have changed. “Accept that the bachelor days are gone and family comes first, but friends come second.”

Finally, Hanson suggests spending /quality/ time with each other. “Avoid things that don’t get you talking, like the cinema, especially if you haven’t seen each other in a long time. Sport unites all men, so watching or playing together is good.”