Venom is out next week, and we’ll finally be able to see exactly how they’re going to do a Spider-Manless Venom movie. Intriguing is the word, here - they appear to have got the design right, which was everyone’s biggest worry, so hopefully the rest of it follows suit. SUIT. Get it, because it’s sort of a suit? We presume your silence is because of internal laughter - laughter so strong that should your lips part it would smash all the windows.
Anyway, ahead of the release date we’ve got three new juicy clips for you.
Well, two juicy clips and one clip that doesn’t have Venom in it, so is therefore not juicy. Really, when you think about it, do you want to watch a clip of Tom Hardy doing a weird accent and resolutely not turning into Venom? No, you do not, but in the interests of being comprehensive, here is a clip displaying exactly that:
Now, would you like to see Tom Hardy transforming into Venom and decking a load of idiots? Would you like to see him in his full glory, big tight hairless butt and all? Well, here you go - this is much more like it:
Oooh yeah, that’s the good stuff. So here’s another one, if you can handle it:
There he is, doing his thang, wiping the floor with bad (good?) guys, and doing his flicky tongue like he likes to do, the naughty fellow. This film looks like it’ll be much better when it’s not just “reporter Eddie Brock getting to the bottom of things” and instead it’s his big alien suit taking over and smashing things up, doesn’t it?
Nobody wants to watch a film about a journalist - they’re the worst, most boring people on the planet. Unless they can turn into screaming, unpredictable and violent psychopaths, of course.
Actually, suppose you could just set it in the mid-week progress meeting. Same thing.
Venom is in UK cinemas 5 October 2018
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(Image: 20th Century Fox)