We’re beginning to think Donald Trump has been basing his presidency on a Margaret Thatcher biography with half of the pages missing.
Threatening war on flimsy pretences: check. Creating a legacy based on disputes over milk: check. That’s basically all that Thatcher did, right? The other stuff can’t be that important if no one’s replaced the pages.
No idea what we’re on about? Take a seat.
The 45th President of the United States has claimed his country “will not stand for” Canada’s latest violation of US sovereignty. What violation might that be? It must be pretty bad for him to resort to such extreme measures, right?
How about we just hand over to the man himself.
Canada has made business for our dairy farmers in Wisconsin and other border states very difficult. We will not stand for this. Watch!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 25, 2017
We’re pretty sure Canada isn’t just testing the president, trying to put out the message that he’s too weak a leader to go to war over milk, but that hasn’t stopped him operating on that premise.
Maybe he thinks when you combine a cold war with a war over dairy farming you get a cold milk war, or a milkshake war. Delicious, delicious milkshake, sweetened with delicious Canadian maple syrup. Or American maple syrup when they win.
We can’t wait to look back at this 10 years from now in Channel 5’s countdown of the 50 stupidest things Donald Trump almost went to war over. Hell, it might even crack the top 20.
At least the media can call it…wait for it…The War on Droogs *high-fives self so hard I fall off my chair*.