Of all the songs named after months, there is no doubt which one is the best. This utter, utter banger of a monster tune.
And it now transpires that September is not only the best month to name a song, but also the best month to be born in.
A new study from researchers at the University of Toronto, the University of Florida, and Northwestern University has revealed that babies born in the month of September tend to be more successful in life. After studying data from about 1 million public school students born in Florida from 1994 to 2000, they found that those of us who are born in September are more confident, far more likely to go to college and less likely to go to jail for juvenile crimes. And, if the likes of Chris Pine and Tom Hardy, above, are anything to go by, they’ll be more handsome too.
But why? Well, the leading theory relates to the dates of the school year.
In England and Wales (as well as many US states), 1 September is the cut-off date for school entry. So when children enter their classrooms, September babies are the oldest in their class.
These extra months often help with academic development and adjustment to school – which means that 80% of girls and 70% of boys born in September reach the expected educational level at age seven in state primary schools in England. Performing well means that they are then also likely to receive more encouragement which, in turn, proves a huge self-esteem booster – and their advantage only grows over time.
Unfortunately, though, the same study also found that babies born in August tend to struggle more in school because they are the youngest students and often less mature than their classmates.
So how can you ensure that your future offspring are born at the right time? Well (and fans of maths and gestation periods will have already worked this out) don’t get busy until 1 December.
Mind you, by recommending this course of action, we risk incurring the wrath of midwives everywhere; one of them, Mhairi Maharry, recently made an aguished plea on Twitter for people to lay off it at Christmas, because it leads to a spike in babies born in September. It soon went viral, being shared tens of thousands of times.
“How is it only the 5th of September? I can’t take 25 more days of this. If you know or love a midwife, PLEASE STOP SHAGGING AT CHRISTMAS,” she wrote after a busy first week of the month, adding that the peak date for births is 26th September.
So maybe, just to spare the midwives and share it around a bit, aim for this one instead, the second-best song named after a month: