Men are easily divided into two distinct categories: those who can grow moustaches and those who can't.
For those who can't, life is a bleak endurance test, full of envy, anger and frustration. For those who can, life boasts endless possibilities and endless image changes. No prizes for guessing which type of man finds it easier to evade police capture.
To celebrate the wonder of facial hair, we've assembled a list of moustache heroes from film.
(Images: Rex Features, All Star)
Aaron Ruell
Napoleon Dynamite
Al Pacino
Serpico
Ben Stiller
Dodgeball
Billy Crudup
Almost Famous
Billy Dee Williams
The Empire Strikes Back
Bob Hoskins
Super Mario Brothers
Bruno Ganz
Downfall
Burt Reynolds
The Cannonball Run
Carl Weathers
Action Jackson
Charles Bronson
Death Wish
Charlie Chaplin
The Kid
Christopher Lee
The Face Of Fu Manchu
Clark Gable
Gone With The Wind
Colin Farrell
Miami Vice
Daniel Day Lewis
Gangs Of New York
Daniel Day Lewis
There Will Be Blood
Danny Glover
Lethal Weapon
Danny Trejo
Machete
Dennis Hopper
Easy Rider
Donald Sutherland
The First Great Train Robbery
Dustin Hoffman
Hook
Errol Flynn
The Adventures Of Robin Hood
Gene Wilder
Young Frankenstein
George Clooney
O Brother, Where Art Thou
Groucho Marx
Duck Soup
Harry Shearer
This Is Spinal Tap
Hulk Hogan
Mr. Nanny
Jack Black
Nacho Libre
John Travolta
The Taking Of Pelham 1,2,3
Jon Gries
Napoleon Dynamite
Josh Brolin
No Country For Old Men
Kurt Russell
Tombstone
Matt Dillon
There's Something About Mary
Mel Brooks
Spaceballs
Michael Biehn
The Abyss
Nicolas Cage
Raising Arizona
Paddy Considine
Hot Fuzz
Peter Sellers
The Return Of The Pink Panther
Richard Griffiths
Withnail & I
Richard Pryor
Brewster's Millions
Robert Redford
Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid
Samuel L Jackson
Pulp Fiction
Sacha Baron Cohen
Borat
Sam Elliott
The Big Lebowski
Sean Connery
Zardoz
Terry Thomas
It's A Mad, Mad, Mad World
Tom Hardy
Bronson
Tom Selleck
Three Men And A Baby
Wilford Brimley
Cocoon
Will Ferrell
Anchorman