TV

There’s a new ‘Blue Planet II’ trailer and guess what, it looks 10/10

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Gary Ogden
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There's a new Blue Planet II trailer and: orgasms

Woah, Blue Planet, eh? Lovely sea and fish and eels and sharks and all the other underwater things. Love it, love that stuff. Second to Geordie Shore, anyway.

You all watched it too, didn’t ya? Good old David Atty-B and a nice big whale giving birth or something - lovely night in on the sofa.

And now… we’ve got Blue Planet II: The Sequel, which follows on where the first one left off, so we’ll finally get to find out what happened to that stingray, what a cliffhanger! Twenty years we’ve waited for this!

Attenborough is back once more, lending his dulcet, soothing voice to the outstanding imagery on show, and you can catch it all when it starts on BBC One on 29 October.

Anyway, shut up, me, and just let everyone watch the lovely trailer.

OK, I will:

My fave is the octopus that looks like an orange Minion. I would quite like to invite it round for tea and have a lovely little evening with it - we could even watch Blue Planet II together while all huddled up on the sofa eating Ben & Jerry’s, and then I could KILL IT AND EAT THE LITTLE FUCKER, COMING INTO MY HOUSE ACTING LIKE THE BIG MAN, NOT ON MY WATCH YOU ORANGE PIECE OF SHIT.

(Image: Talia Cohen)

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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