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Danny Wallace on the art of leaving a Christmas do early
“I act like i’m keen to mingle, and then I just go to the pub or for a burrito”
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Danny Wallace on the downsides of dining alone
"People will think, 'Look at that strange man eating alone at 5pm"
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Danny Wallace on how to fix broken Britain
"We were struck by just how inventive, inclusive and artistic we are"
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Danny Wallace on analysing predictions about the future
"I like reading about the futures that never came"
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Danny Wallace on the difficulty of giving away freebies
I don’t need this pen. it’s a free hotel one. but still, it’s mine
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Danny Wallace on how to do luxury properly
"You ever held a really good paperclip? You notice when you do"
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Why running is for chumps, according to Danny Wallace
"What was I thinking? Who runs? Where do they think they’re going?"
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Danny Wallace on why "boys will be boys" is not a valid excuse
"It puts the blame on women for not appreciating the epic bants"
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Danny Wallace and the great crispy duck debacle of 2018
"Why complicate things?"
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Danny Wallace encounters the deadly 'Danger Ball'
Oh God. Oh my God this is the Danger Ball.
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Danny Wallace asks us all to get to the point
"It's like a very boring one-man show no one would ever pay to see"
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Danny Wallace on the problems with a world where everything needs rating
"Can you do me a favour?"
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Danny Wallace spends a weekend living it up on his own
"I somehow console myself by doing whatever I want at any time whatsoever"
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Danny Wallace spends a weekend with a conspiracy theorist
"They tried to kill me," he said. "They sent a tornado to get me"
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Danny Wallace discovers that jury duty is more than jigsaws
"People are crossing their arms and sighing. 'Why us?' we joke"
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Danny Wallace investigates the many uses of an alleyway
"I am alone, pounding the streets of the city, hunting for a private alleyway down which I can dart in order to carry out my illicit business."
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Danny Wallace on why summer jobs aren't just for children
"The world is packed with jobs that I don't want to do for ever, but just for the summer"
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Danny Wallace presents to you: a life-changing fact
"The person I mention it to is blown away"
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Danny Wallace on the perils of being over-friendly to workmen
"I’m straight back in their faces, offering them biscuits"
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Danny Wallace on the difficulties of warning neighbours about a party
"Dear neighbour, I promise I'm not a weirdo"
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Danny Wallace on how to deal with unwritten rule breakers
All I can think is, “How do you get people sent to the Hague?”
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Danny Wallace on being ambushed by a stranger with a joke
"Perhaps he wanders all day, delivering hit-and-run dad jokes"
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Why we need a Straight Pride Month (according to Danny Wallace)
"I have come to realise that a Straight Pride march is a terrific idea"
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Danny Wallace on the problem with not replying to emails
"I call him two emails Terry. Except his name's not Terry"
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