Time to get to the core of Apple.
At 18:00 BST, Tim Cook will be taking to the stage of the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco to show off Apple's latest array of shiny tech toys.
From a new iPhone to an updated MacBook - and a few new audio surprises - refresh this page from 18:00 onwards to read ShortList.com's live digestible record of the event.
And that's it really. Sia is going to play us out. No MacBook Pro update, nor a new iMac, as rumoured.
We'll bring you news summaries on the new gadgets later tonight.
Until then, start fine tuning your reaction times for Super Mario Runner...
We got a brief glimpse of a screen about battery life... but it didn't make much sense. Apparently the iPhone 7 will last 2 hours longer than the average iPhone 6S, while the Plus goes further still.
It costs $649 and comes in a range of colours, with double the storage capacity. The old iPhone 6S is also getting a storage boost.
The iPhone 7 Plus starts at $769.
It should arrive on 16 September, while the AirPods arrive 30 October.
Someone has come on to the stage to show off their new Oz game. It's got 'real time reflections' and 'weather effects'.
Candy Crush will never be the same.
So the new chip in the iPhone 7 is the A10 fusion - a 64 bit four core monster. It's the most powerful chip ever squeezed into a smartphone, apparently, and will let you run 'console level' games on your iPhone 7.
It'll also let you use Adobe Light Room on your smartphone, which is great if Instagram didn't give you quite enough filtering options.
Apple Pay is coming to Japan. That's made your day, hasn't it? Thought so...
Beats are also getting in on the wireless game thanks to Apple's new fancy headphone chip, with Solo3 gear.
So Apple has dropped the 3.5mm headphone socket due to reasons of 'courage'. That, and they want to free up room for more tech.
They're also all about wireless, and are introducing the new Wireless AirPods. Ooh.
They've got five hours of battery life, plus a charge case with extra juice for 24 hours.
Today in TechCrunch: "We’re so excited to show you a new product from Apple: Apple Airpods" … pic.twitter.com/dXr8tQgGZq— Thomas J. Lebens (@ThomasJLebens) September 7, 2016
So, the iPhone 7 is amongst us.
It's waterproof. It doesn't have a 3.5mm headphone socket. It has a bigger camera. It comes with an adaptor for our old regular headphones.
The iPhone 7 Plus also adds a dual camera for zoom and depth of field. It's lovely.
It's everything we've been hearing about for the last few months of leaks...
Now it's the turn of the iPhone.
Tim Cook is back to run through some of the new features of iOS 10.
If you see more runners out and about on Sundays, it's probably because they're joining in with Nike's new 'Just Do It Sundays'.
Or because they just like running on Sundays.
The new series 2 and Nike model cost $369, while the old watch (series 1) is available for $269. Both are available on 16 September, while the Nike model arrives late October.
The Watch Series 2 (seriously, why 'Series 2'?) will come in ceramic, which looks just lovely. Hermes is also renewing their partnership with the new style.
No mention of battery life though... hmm.
There's also the Apple Watch Nike Plus, a runner-special watch with a stretchy band, lightweight aluminium case and bold colours.
The new Watch will track your calorie burn even more accurately, even when swimming.
It now has a beefier processor, letting you use more complicated apps, and a new display that's twice as bright as before. It projects at 1,000 nits - which we didn't know was a metric either. It's also got GPS built in, which will make tracking your activities a whole lot easier.
We have our first new hardware! The new generation of Apple Watch Series 2!
Because Apple Watch 2 would make too much sense?
It's 'swimproof', letting you wear it swimming or surfing, but you can't go below 50 metres. The speaker even ejects water after you've had a dip, which is neat.
We're going over all the things that the latest iOS for the Apple Watch does. Confetti. Scribbling on a screen. Breathing. Seriously, an app for breathing.
Pokémon GO is also coming to the Apple Watch. (Is Apple buying Nintendo?!) On your Watch you'll be able to see how close you are to hatching your eggs, see what Pokémon are nearby and give you notifications of what you can catch. It'll arrive before "the end of the year".
And now we're on to the new products: Apple Watch!
Do you own one? No, us neither...
Super Mario Runner is exactly what it sounds like - an automatic scroller game that sees you tap the screen to have Mario jump over enemies and blocks. There's also a battle mode, in which you take on other players to collect coins and pull of daring moves in front of Toads. It's FREE, coming this December.
First Pokémon GO, now a Mario app - Nintendo is cleaning up on smartphones.
Appleのキーノート史上初の日本語プレゼン！ pic.twitter.com/GkFW3N2FkI— Nobi Hayashi 林信行 (@nobi) September 7, 2016
Also, some on Twitter are claiming that Apple has accidentally leaked the iPhone 7 with this tweet...
Oh GOSH. We didn't expect this. Mario is coming to the App Store.
We're starting with an overview of Apple Music: "It just keeps getting better."
And we're done.
Ah yes - it was all a plug for Apple's new TV offering of Carpool Karaoke. Corden won't be hosting that though.
James Corden. James bloody Corden is introducing the Apple Event. This lad has done well.
He's even managing to make Tim Cook seem fun. Pharrell Williams is getting involved too. This is all very confusing.
It's almost go time. Apple has turned on the live stream from the Bill Graham auditorium. Zane Lowe is bringing us some slammin' tunes from Beats1 (well, he's playing Drake at least).
We're pretty sure we just saw someone get chucked out for using an Android...