Remember Martin Shkreli? The ‘pharma bro’ who last year topped a career of repeated dodgy dealings by price gouging a drug that treated AIDS-related illness? The guy who happily said, “I liken myself to the robber barons,” and even Donald Trump said was a “spoiled brat”?
We’d hate to condone violence, but it would so, so sweet to smack him in his smug, satanic, gelatinous face, wouldn’t it?
Well, now’s your chance – but, being the free marketer he is, he’s put a price on it. He’s selling off the chance to deck him in the kisser, and the current highest bid is around $78,000. If you’ve got the price of a brand new Mercedes burning a hole in your Swiss bank account, have at it, but if that’s not thinking big enough for you, you can match Shkreli’s antics with the Daraprim drug and hike the going rate up 5456% to a cool $4,255,680.
Even if you’re not convinced violence is the answer, allow us to reassure you. Shkreli may cultivate the image of someone who’d behead his granny for a quick buck, but he’s been in an altruistic mood this week.
His friend and former consultant Mike Kulich died on Saturday, leaving behind a young son who’s recovering from cancer. In one of the biggest conjunctions of good causes in known history, Shkreli is donating proceeds from people jockeying to lamp him to go towards a fund for the boy.
You can enter the raffle by donating here.
Unsurprisingly, there’s already been a huge amount of interest, with Shkreli gently suggesting a dinner may be in order, rather than a punch up:
Winner gets slap/punch/dinner or whatever they want. Runner up gets something, too. Raising money for my dead friend's son.— Martin Shkreli (@MartinShkreli) September 28, 2016
Let’s hold him to do it. Let’s do this. For the first time in our history as a website, we are advocating violence – don’t let us do it in vain.