Carling?? CARLING?? If it’s not brewed in the intestine of an endangered moose then I’m not having it! There needs to be fewer than 10 bottles ever produced and you have to hike up three mountains to find one, otherwise I’m not letting it anywhere near my hairy lips! I’m not interested in this mass-produced fizzy nonsense, I want horse piss distilled in a barrel made of wattle and daub and buried in the center of a dormant volcano for a thousand years before being served in the hollowed out skull of a trappist monk!
That, above, is you – the craft beer geek. You’ve gone too far in your pursuit for the perfect craft beer, and thereby alienated your mates. But there’s a “but” – this dedication to your (do not excuse the pun) craft, may put you in with the chance of winning a holiday.
BrewDog (you’ve had their beers before, they’re nice) is doing a big competition to find the biggest beer geeks in the country, and it’s open to anyone to enter. The comp is split into six categories, which according to those hoppy dogs, are as follows:
Beer Tasting Geek – the beer geek with the most developed taste buds. Entrants will take part in a beer flight taste test to decide the winner.
Brewery Hopper Geek – the beer geek who has visited the most independent craft breweries in the last 12 months.
Beer Bar Hopper Geek – the beer geek who has visited the most craft beer bars in the last 12 months.
Beer Scholar Geek – the beer geek to get the highest score in the Beer Scholar Geek online quiz, which can be taken on The Beer Geeks Awards website.
Beer Blogging Geek – the best amateur beer blogger.
Beer Social Media Geek – the beer geek who shares their passion best on social media.
Beer Review Geek – the beer geek with the most impressive beer reviews.
If you reckon you’d be in the running for climbing to the top of that pile, then you can enter at thebeergeekawards.com.
If you win, then you’ll get to go to the Stockholm Beer and Whisky Festival. THEN, AND ONLY THEN, if you win the overall comp, you’ll get to jet off to San Diego, which according to people with beards, has quite a good craft beer scene.
So get entering, basically, you big nerd. I’m off to cook some Super Noodles in a can of Super Kes. Enjoy your holiday.