Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation
Top

How to order a drink like you actually know what you’re talking about

You’re stood at the bar, peering desperately at an esoteric looking cocktail menu that seems like it was written by the Engima machine itself.

Nonchalantly trying to figure out which drinks on the list have enough bite to make them seem manly while also containing enough fruit, sugar and fairy dust to make them palatable.

Suddenly, the crowd parts like a swaggering Red Sea made of limbs and intoxication as the spirit of McQueen, Bogart and Connery emerges in singular human form, slipping straight into the gap that you’d been eyeballing for the last ten minutes. Immediately grabbing the attention of the bartender, the phantom coolly reels off a list of exotic ingredients bookended with the words: “… and make it dirty.”

Your mind explodes with a movie montage of this hero of a man getting the girl and riding off into the sunset, cocktail in hand and a steely gaze of enlightenment etched firmly across his face.

Then you order a mojito.

Here’s how to turn the tables and flip your cool points right the way around by ordering a drink like the retro film god you always thought you’d grow to be.

(Images: AllStar)

Related

shutterstock_196241660.jpg

This is the reason why Coke tastes better from a glass bottle

styleHEAD.jpg

10 essential style items every man should have in his wardrobe

MAIN.jpg

15 great new English drinks you've (probably) never heard of

Comments

More

A bacon toaster now exists and it is beautiful

Because you can't get bacon quick enough

by Jamie Carson
24 Jan 2017

7 belly fat myths busted

Proof your mate at the gym is talking absolute sh*t

20 Jan 2017

A vegan fried chicken shop just opened in London

A beautiful contradiction

by Emily Badiozzaman
17 Jan 2017

Greggs is launching a delivery service in London

See, 2017 is better than last year already

by Dave Fawbert
17 Jan 2017

Luxury cheese and crisp sandwiches made by London's best chefs

Overhaul the laziest of lunchtime treats with help from five of London’s greatest chefs

by Chris Sayer
11 Jan 2017

There’s a new Oreo Creme Egg and people are losing their minds

Still your beating heart

by Emily Badiozzaman
11 Jan 2017

Finally, there's now a beer made for drinking in the shower

Aptly named Shower Beer

by Emily Badiozzaman
10 Jan 2017

10 of the greatest meat-free recipes

Dry January doesn't apply to your palate too

by Emily Badiozzaman
05 Jan 2017

Hangover-free detox beer is here to save you from dry January

The brewery says it's a perfect post-gym drink, too

by Chris Sayer
04 Jan 2017

The 20 coolest restaurants in Liverpool

01 Jan 2017