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How to order a drink like you actually know what you’re talking about

You’re stood at the bar, peering desperately at an esoteric looking cocktail menu that seems like it was written by the Engima machine itself.

Nonchalantly trying to figure out which drinks on the list have enough bite to make them seem manly while also containing enough fruit, sugar and fairy dust to make them palatable.

Suddenly, the crowd parts like a swaggering Red Sea made of limbs and intoxication as the spirit of McQueen, Bogart and Connery emerges in singular human form, slipping straight into the gap that you’d been eyeballing for the last ten minutes. Immediately grabbing the attention of the bartender, the phantom coolly reels off a list of exotic ingredients bookended with the words: “… and make it dirty.”

Your mind explodes with a movie montage of this hero of a man getting the girl and riding off into the sunset, cocktail in hand and a steely gaze of enlightenment etched firmly across his face.

Then you order a mojito.

Here’s how to turn the tables and flip your cool points right the way around by ordering a drink like the retro film god you always thought you’d grow to be.

(Images: AllStar)

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