Jump to Main ContentJump to Primary Navigation

Twitter stalker by Chris Brookmyre


Sophia Webb @sophiawebb Can’t believe it’s 2013 and The Sun is still reducing womanhood to a pair of tits.

First Blast @firstblast69

@sophiawebb You’re just jealous because yours are probably like deflating party balloons.

First Blast @firstblast69

@sophiawebb What you doing reading the paper anyway. Haven’t you got dishes to do?

Sophia Webb @sophiawebb

@firstblast69 Oh do fast-forward to your inevitable lonely suicide.

First Blast @firstblast69

@sophiawebb I’ll fast forward to stuffing your mouth with my sweaty sock so I can’t hear your ugly moans while I’m f*cking you, bitch.

First Blast @firstblast69

@sophiawebb Notice you haven’t blocked me. Just proves all women secretly want rape.

Sophia Webb @sophiawebb

@firstblast69 Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. The cops can trace your IP, idiot.

First Blast @firstblast69

@sophiawebb Not on this pre-paid mobile they won’t. It’s a burner, so feel the burn, bitch.

Jasmine Sharp @jasharp91

@firstblast69 They can still pinpoint where a mobile was used.

First Blast @firstblast69

@jasharp91 @sophiawebb Who the hell are you? Good luck tying me to an outdoor location where I’m surrounded by other people.

Jasmine Sharp @jasharp91

@firstblast69 @sophiawebb

I’ve seen your future, pal. Jail features prominently.

First Blast @firstblast69

@jasharp91 @sophiawebb Yeah, well I’ve seen your profile. You look like another one who needs a good c*cking to teach her some manners.

Jasmine Sharp @jasharp91

@firstblast69 @sophiawebb

While you’re telling me what I look like, do I look like the girl in a grey van near your Ford Focus in the Tesco car park?

Jasmine Sharp @jasharp91

@firstblast69 @sophiawebb

Do I look like the private investigator Sophia hired to gather evidence of your stalking, Mr Robert Angus Kessock?

Jasmine Sharp @jasharp91

@firstblast69 @sophiaweb

Or can’t you see my face for the telephoto lens that’s been snapping you as you tweet?

Flesh Wounds by Chris Brookmyre is out now (Little, Brown). He appears at Montrose Library on 25 November, West Dunbartonshire Library on 27 November and Saltcoats Library on 28 November



Greatest Hits By James Sallis


The Best Crime Novel Covers Ever


The ShortList crime challenge


The 10 best books of 2017, according to Amazon

Need something for your holiday? Get one of these

by Tom Victor
07 Aug 2017

Michael Bond, the creator of Paddington Bear, dies age 91

He brought joy to millions of childhoods

by Gary Ogden
28 Jun 2017

Everyone's taking the piss out of Brooklyn Beckham's photography book

Are they being too harsh on the kid?

by Carl Anka
26 Jun 2017

The 30 most memorable literary fathers

These book dads certainly left an impression

16 Jun 2017

I judged the International Booker Prize shortlist by their covers

So the saying doesn't go

by Gary Ogden
28 Apr 2017

Women fancy men who read and this is the book that impresses them most

But it doesn't work the other way

by Tom Mendelsohn
28 Apr 2017

The physical Amazon bookstore is using really cool ways to group books

Online meets the real world

by Dave Fawbert
03 Apr 2017

14 new books you need to read in April

The best picks for your reading pile this month

by Dan Dalton
31 Mar 2017

This bookshop is giving clickbait titles to all the classics

"Teenage girl tricked boyfriend into killing himself" - anyone?

by Emily Reynolds
31 Mar 2017

These bored book store employees deserve all the Instagram followers

Bookface goes French at Librairie Mollat

by Dave Fawbert
21 Mar 2017