Unicode have finalised which emojis they’re going to be adding to our phones in 2018, and it’s great news for gingers, curly-haired people and drunks.
We’ve known ginger emojis have been coming for a while, but Unicode have now set their Emoji 11.0 batch in stone, and it includes 157 new options, adding to the 2,666 we already had.
The lack of certain specific emojis has forced us to be creative when talking about, well, sex mostly - everyone knows the aubergine is a penis and the peach is a bum - but we’ve also had to use our imagination for a drunk emoji - until now.
The new ‘partying face’ and ‘woozy face’ will let your friends know exactly what point of the night you’re at (if your errant texting wasn’t already a clue), while the many sickly ones we’ve already got in the back catalogue will still have to make do for the hangover.
Here’s a list of all 157 new options, drawn up by Emojipedia:
So here we have ‘smiling face with three hearts’, which is an odd name for it considering there are very clearly four hearts there, ‘hot face’, ‘cold face’, ‘partying face’, ‘woozy face’ and ‘pleading face’.
The emojis will only arrive to our phones in June, which is a shame as the cold face would be really useful around now. We imagine the pleading face will be in particularly high use for people in relationships.
Ginger and curly-haired people, finally!:
Yes, there is finally justice for ginger and curly-haired people. However, what if you have ginger and curly hair? What then? You’re going to have to make a tough choice, I’m afraid.
Bald and grey-haired people:
Bald-headed people are also finally represented in emoji form, along with an option for grey hair which doesn’t come on an old person’s body. Good news for all you silver foxes and Jason Stathams of the world.
Superheroes and supervillains:
For use when you’ve sent many woozy faces the night before but still made it into work on time and got through the day without having a ten-minute power nap in the toilets.
HOWEVER, UNICODE, I NOTICE THERE IS NO GINGER SUPERHERO EMOJI? CAN’T THERE BE GINGER SUPERHEROES? DO YOU CALL THIS EQUALITY?
Legs, feet, a bone and a tooth?:
If you’re on a dating app and someone starts sending you feet emojis, well, you know what you’re getting into. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. And if they send you a tooth emoji? Just run for the hills. Don’t look back. I SAID DON’T LOOK.
New animals, food and other objects:
We’ve got some nice science lab stuff, a hiking boot and a ballet pump, a raccoon (which I can’t believe wasn’t represented until now, being one of the internet’s favourite animals), a llama (or is it an alpaca?), a very stout hippo, a kangaroo, a pretty adorable badger, a swan, a peacock, a parrot, a lobster (useful if you’re currently rewatching Friends like the rest of the planet) and a goddamn flying ant, which you can bring out in abundance for that one day a year where they ruin our lives.
There’s also a bacteria, a mango (the best fruit in existence, don’t @ me), some lettuce, a bagel, salt, a pie, a cupcake, a compass (that’s not a food, don’t eat compasses), bricks (also don’t eat), a skateboard, luggage, a firework (these are tasty, you can eat these), a red gift envelope and a softball.
The contents of your attic:
And finally, we have all the random crap you find every time you go up to your attic. There’s a frisbee and a lacrosse stick, a nazar amulet (which is a Turkish charm), a puzzle piece, a teddy bear, a chess piece, an abacus, a receipt, a toolbox, a magnet, a test tube, a petri dish, a DNA helix (science nerds getting some great content this time around) and a fire extinguisher (may also be useful for the scientists).
There’s also a bottle of lotion, some thread, a ball of wool with knitting needles, a safety pin, a broom (fun!!!), a wicker basket, toilet roll (genuinely could be a useful one this, you know, in emergencies. Remember when you were a kid and you used to yell to your sibling to bring you toilet roll when you’d already sat down, realised there was none left and it was too late? Now you can just send this), soap, a sponge, the infinity symbol and the Jolly Roger. Arrrrrrrrrr.
If you’re so 21st Century that you hate words and need to consume all your content through the medium of video, well, you’re in luck:
As mentioned, the emojis won’t be on your phone until June, so you’ll just have to make do with the standard 2,666 until then. Sorry.