Got yourself a bed, have you? Mattress, sheets, pillows, maybe a drawer if you’re a princess? Yeah, sweet bed, really impressed.
NO I’M NOT.
I’m not at all impressed, because your bed is not the best bed that I’ve ever seen. The best bed that I have ever seen is this:
That, above, is the greatest bed your man has ever seen. I mean, I don’t even know the name of it, because according to retailer English Tao Bao, it is called: ‘Massage bed tatami bed fabric bed double bed storage bed 1.8m bed modern minimalist bedroom’. I don’t know what that is, but it’s not a name.
Anyway, this bed has the following things:
- Endless amounts of customisable colours and storage space
- A hell-load of charging points to charge stuff
- Built-in speakers for Enya (or any other music I guess do what you want)
- An actual massage chair attached to it
- A full-on, flexible work desk
- A safe
- A flippable mattress that hides even more storage space
- A log flume
Like, this is the best bed ever, as I said – you agree, don’t you? It’s so good I would never get out of it, apart from to go to the, you know, thing. No other reason to ever leave it.
Just look at this beast:
And here’s a ‘vid’ of it in ‘action’:
If you want one (head over here), it’ll set you back anywhere from $550 (£420) to just over $1000 (£764), which isn’t actually that bad when you consider it could become your actual home forever.
I love it, and I want it. And nobody is allowed in it. Just like my current bed.
(Images: SG Shop/Siam Trend Shop)