It’s happened. Donald Trump is the 45th President of the United States of America. What was once considered a joke has now became a serious reality. There’s no going back now. Well, unless he’s assassinated or impeached for rape.
During his infamous campaign trail, the business mogul turned amateur politician has made some outlandish promises. But can he actually keep all of them?
Here’s a few of his most ridiculous statements that we’re looking forward/dreading to seeing the outcomes of…
Build a wall on the southern border to block out Mexican immigrants
Trump said that an “artistically beautiful” wall would be erected if he was elected, made from concrete, rebar and steel, which he stated would one day be remembered as the “Trump Wall”, which is a bit of a shit name for something quite evil.
Get Mexico to pay for said wall
Millions live in extreme poverty in Mexico, so obviously he wants to them to pay what could possibly cost $12 billion dollars for a massive bloody wall, which he has compared the size of to the Great Wall of China (but a foot taller, which is quite specific). If they refuse? Cut foreign aid and cancel visas, of course.
Stop trying to tackle global warming
In what is probably the most terrifying of his promises, Trump has said America should not waste financial resources on tackling the problem of climate change, saying in the past on Twitter that the concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.
The healthcare reform law that expands and improves access to care and curbs spending through regulations and taxes will be kicked to the curb for something much better. We don’t know what could be better than free healthcare other than that you get paid for being sick, but we’ll just have to wait and see.
Stop funding for planned parenthood
One of his more WTF promises. He once said he would prosecute women who sought abortions, but went back on the statement and said he’d only charge the doctors. Erm…WHAT?!
Ban Muslims from entering America
Except for, y’know, business people, athletes and dignitaries, people who have “proven” themselves. So if you’re Muslim and want to go to America, maybe pick up a sport or start your own company.
Prosecute Hillary Clinton for the e-mail debacle
Trump said that he would attempt to send Hillary to jail for using a private e-mail server when acting as Secretary of State, but with his extremely gracious acceptance speech, we severely doubt that this promise will be kept.
Allow Russia to deal with ISIS in Syria
We’d have been fucked either way with this. If Hillary had gotten into power, she would’ve denied Russia intervening further, possibly leading to war. And Russia’s like that smelly kid in your first year of school that got expelled a week after starting, you don’t want to mess with them.
He also said he’d even work with Putin himself to put a stop to the terrorist organisation. Aww, aren’t they so cute! Trumputin forever <3
Stop funding of space exploration
This is depressing. We like space. Make Mars great again.
He’ll get people to say Merry Christmas again
"If I become president, we're all going to be saying 'Merry Christmas' again." Lol.
Let the people decide whether to legalise marijuana
In terms of marijuana and legalization, I think that should be a state issue, state-by-state," he told the Washington Post. Which is good stuff, because America really needs to get high right now.
Never go on holiday
Oops, sorry America, no time off for you, as Trump has promised never to go on vacation while in power. Buckle in guys, it’s going to be a bumpy four years (because let’s face it, he’s not going to be in for eight).