What your favourite album of 2018 says about you as a person

A flawless musical guide

What your favourite album of 2018 says about you as a person

At the end of 2017 we provided you with a guide to the year’s best and worst music, in the form of telling you what your favourite album said about you.

This year, though, we’re got a whole host of new albums to sink our teeth into. 

We’ve gone through a deeply scientific method which we can’t share with you, but we have to make one thing clear: we’re not passing judgement on the artists or albums in question, or even their entire fanbases.

These entries are purely about you, the person who has named one of these albums as your favourite release of 2018. And we are 100% correct and you know it.

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1. Alkaline Trio - Is This Thing Cursed

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You aggressively sing along to songs from the Tony Hawk soundtrack at karaoke nights.

2. Anderson .Paak - Oxnard

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You have bought a bluetooth speaker that looks like a car stereo, despite failing your driving test

3. Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino

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You told anyone who’d listen that Serbia were your dark horse for the World Cup.

4. Ariana Grande - Sweetener

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All your favourite films have colons in the title

5. Beach House - 7

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You have stolen slippers from a hotel and swapped them with the slippers from a different, more expensive hotel

6. Blood Orange - Negro Swan

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You have got into an argument at a tequila bar about the film Kids

7. BROCKHAMPTON - Iridescence

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You insist on calling Riz Ahmed ‘Riz MC’ even when talking about his acting

8. Cardi B - Invasion of Privacy

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You have made a wedding DJ cry this year

9. Chromeo - Head Over Heels

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You consider ice cream one of the main food groups.

10. CHVRCHES - Love is Dead

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You’ve responded to your climate change fears by buying a pack of novelty reusable straws.

11. Courtney Barnett - Tell Me How You Really Feel

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Your biggest purchase this year was a third pair of denim overalls

12. Death Cab For Cutie - Thank You For Today

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Your Halloween costume was a Noah Baumbach character

13. Drake – Scorpion

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You have asked out a shop assistant while they were at work

14. Eminem - Kamikaze

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You still say wazzzzzzup when answering the phone

15. Empress Of - Us

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You pledged to only read books by women this year, but ended up rereading The Corrections in March

16. Fightmilk - Not With That Attitude

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You always complain about being tired but refuse to sleep

17. Florence + The Machine - High As Hope

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You secretly wish you were famous enough to get invited onto Saturday Kitchen

18. Foxing - Nearer My God

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You own every book of David Foster Wallace short fiction but none of the novels

19. Fucked Up - Dose Your Dreams

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You refuse to watch The Good Place because you’re afraid you’ll like it

20. IDLES - Joy As An Act of Resistance

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You once bought a leather jacket from one of those souvenir shops on Oxford Street and lied about where you got it

21. The Internet - Hive Mind

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You have a photo of Anthony Bourdain on your desk

22. Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer

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You have had a sex dream about yourself

23. Jeff Rosenstock - POST-

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You go to NFL games in London for the food trucks

24. Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour

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You use the words ‘RV’ and ‘movie theater’ despite being from Birmingham

25. Kali Uchis - Isolation

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You eat exclusively at soft-launches of three-month pop-ups.

26. Kanye West – Ye

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You don’t know much about ‘this Jordan Peterson guy’ but you’re really intrigued

27. Kendrick Lamar - Black Panther Soundtrack

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You’re in the clear with this one, carry on.

28. Kids See Ghosts - Kids See Ghosts

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You own a football shirt belonging to a fictional team.

29. Let’s Eat Grandma - I’m All Ears

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You have other people’s pets in all of your Tinder photos

30. Lucy Dacus – Historian

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You told everyone this was the year you’d take NaNoWriMo seriously, but ended up giving up two days in

31. Migos - Culture II

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You have believed every Mario Balotelli story you’ve ever read

32. Mitski - Be The Cowboy

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You have spilled merlot in a moshpit

33. The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships

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You have stopped expressing yourself with Simpsons quotes and started expressing yourself with BoJack Horseman quotes

34. Noname - Room 25

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You describe your personal style as ‘NPR Tiny Desk chic’

35. Panic! At the Disco - Pray For the Wicked

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You drank Smirnoff Ice in 2018

36. Post Malone - Beerbongs & Bentleys

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You’ve bought ket from a 40-year-old man at a student union

37. Pusha T - Daytona

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You have written an ‘enemies’ list and stuck it to your fridge. It is comprised entirely of public figures you will never meet

38. Robyn - Honey

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You wish it was socially acceptable to wear heelies and socially unacceptable to ride scooters

39. Snail Mail - Lush

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Your idea of ‘double-denim’ is a denim jacket underneath a second denim jacket

40. Soccer Mommy – Clean

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You have made ‘not liking Tarantino’ so much of your personality that it feels like you’re overcompensating

41. Superorganism - Superorganism

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You got really into kombucha for exactly one month and still can’t explain why

42. Titus Andronicus - A Productive Cough

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You have strong opinions about whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas film.

43. Travis Scott - Astroworld

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You have refused to leave a house party until you were allowed to finish telling people how you were ‘this close’ to getting a part in Skins

44. Villagers - The Art of Pretending to Swim

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When someone asked you to name your favourite beer, you said ‘Craft’

45. Vince Staples - FM!

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You have ordered a cocktail described as tasting ‘like the smell after it rains’

46. The Xcerts - Hold On To Your Hearts

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Your new year’s resolution is to stop liking things ironically

47. Young Fathers - Cocoa Sugar

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You have written a 5,000-word article comparing an NBA player to Plato. It remains unpublished.

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(All images via the artists in question)