At the end of 2017 we provided you with a guide to the year’s best and worst music, in the form of telling you what your favourite album said about you.
This year, though, we’re got a whole host of new albums to sink our teeth into.
We’ve gone through a deeply scientific method which we can’t share with you, but we have to make one thing clear: we’re not passing judgement on the artists or albums in question, or even their entire fanbases.
These entries are purely about you, the person who has named one of these albums as your favourite release of 2018. And we are 100% correct and you know it.
1. Alkaline Trio - Is This Thing Cursed
You aggressively sing along to songs from the Tony Hawk soundtrack at karaoke nights.
2. Anderson .Paak - Oxnard
You have bought a bluetooth speaker that looks like a car stereo, despite failing your driving test
3. Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino
You told anyone who’d listen that Serbia were your dark horse for the World Cup.
4. Ariana Grande - Sweetener
All your favourite films have colons in the title
5. Beach House - 7
You have stolen slippers from a hotel and swapped them with the slippers from a different, more expensive hotel
6. Blood Orange - Negro Swan
You have got into an argument at a tequila bar about the film Kids
7. BROCKHAMPTON - Iridescence
You insist on calling Riz Ahmed ‘Riz MC’ even when talking about his acting
8. Cardi B - Invasion of Privacy
You have made a wedding DJ cry this year
9. Chromeo - Head Over Heels
You consider ice cream one of the main food groups.
10. CHVRCHES - Love is Dead
You’ve responded to your climate change fears by buying a pack of novelty reusable straws.
11. Courtney Barnett - Tell Me How You Really Feel
Your biggest purchase this year was a third pair of denim overalls
12. Death Cab For Cutie - Thank You For Today
Your Halloween costume was a Noah Baumbach character
13. Drake – Scorpion
You have asked out a shop assistant while they were at work
14. Eminem - Kamikaze
You still say wazzzzzzup when answering the phone
15. Empress Of - Us
You pledged to only read books by women this year, but ended up rereading The Corrections in March
16. Fightmilk - Not With That Attitude
You always complain about being tired but refuse to sleep
17. Florence + The Machine - High As Hope
You secretly wish you were famous enough to get invited onto Saturday Kitchen
18. Foxing - Nearer My God
You own every book of David Foster Wallace short fiction but none of the novels
19. Fucked Up - Dose Your Dreams
You refuse to watch The Good Place because you’re afraid you’ll like it
20. IDLES - Joy As An Act of Resistance
You once bought a leather jacket from one of those souvenir shops on Oxford Street and lied about where you got it
21. The Internet - Hive Mind
You have a photo of Anthony Bourdain on your desk
22. Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer
You have had a sex dream about yourself
23. Jeff Rosenstock - POST-
You go to NFL games in London for the food trucks
24. Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour
You use the words ‘RV’ and ‘movie theater’ despite being from Birmingham
25. Kali Uchis - Isolation
You eat exclusively at soft-launches of three-month pop-ups.
26. Kanye West – Ye
You don’t know much about ‘this Jordan Peterson guy’ but you’re really intrigued
27. Kendrick Lamar - Black Panther Soundtrack
You’re in the clear with this one, carry on.
28. Kids See Ghosts - Kids See Ghosts
You own a football shirt belonging to a fictional team.
29. Let’s Eat Grandma - I’m All Ears
You have other people’s pets in all of your Tinder photos
30. Lucy Dacus – Historian
You told everyone this was the year you’d take NaNoWriMo seriously, but ended up giving up two days in
31. Migos - Culture II
You have believed every Mario Balotelli story you’ve ever read
32. Mitski - Be The Cowboy
You have spilled merlot in a moshpit
33. The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships
You have stopped expressing yourself with Simpsons quotes and started expressing yourself with BoJack Horseman quotes
34. Noname - Room 25
You describe your personal style as ‘NPR Tiny Desk chic’
35. Panic! At the Disco - Pray For the Wicked
You drank Smirnoff Ice in 2018
36. Post Malone - Beerbongs & Bentleys
You’ve bought ket from a 40-year-old man at a student union
37. Pusha T - Daytona
You have written an ‘enemies’ list and stuck it to your fridge. It is comprised entirely of public figures you will never meet
38. Robyn - Honey
You wish it was socially acceptable to wear heelies and socially unacceptable to ride scooters
39. Snail Mail - Lush
Your idea of ‘double-denim’ is a denim jacket underneath a second denim jacket
40. Soccer Mommy – Clean
You have made ‘not liking Tarantino’ so much of your personality that it feels like you’re overcompensating
41. Superorganism - Superorganism
You got really into kombucha for exactly one month and still can’t explain why
42. Titus Andronicus - A Productive Cough
You have strong opinions about whether or not Die Hard is a Christmas film.
43. Travis Scott - Astroworld
You have refused to leave a house party until you were allowed to finish telling people how you were ‘this close’ to getting a part in Skins
44. Villagers - The Art of Pretending to Swim
When someone asked you to name your favourite beer, you said ‘Craft’
45. Vince Staples - FM!
You have ordered a cocktail described as tasting ‘like the smell after it rains’
46. The Xcerts - Hold On To Your Hearts
Your new year’s resolution is to stop liking things ironically
47. Young Fathers - Cocoa Sugar
You have written a 5,000-word article comparing an NBA player to Plato. It remains unpublished.
(All images via the artists in question)
