These middle-class chat-up lines will make you scoff like a toff

You're in Whole Foods, pressing your thumb into some baby avocados, when you see her: the girl of your dreams.

She's scanning the artisanal artichoke aisle, wearing the same high-end gilet as her pet mongoose. You wrack your brains for the perfect introduction.

You're still thinking, reaching up to grab the new issue of Tatler, when your hand knocks into another. It's hers, and now your eyes meet. She smiles. Now's your chance. Say something. But what?

Easy: crack out one of these utterly middle-class chat up lines put together by The Poke and the hilarious piss-takers of Twitter.