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Two blokes from Rotherham have opened the world’s smallest nightclub

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Gary Ogden
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One thing you will have done at least once in your life is get lost in a nightclub. You’ve got yourself ready, you’ve had your pre-drinks, you and your mates have piled into a taxi and you’ve entered into a big, shiny nightclub, the excitement at fever pitch in anticipation of a big old razz-out on the tiles. THEN WITHIN FIVE MINUTES YOU ARE OWN YOUR OWN, NEVER TO SEE YOUR MATES UNTIL THE MORNING.

This has happened to you, most likely, more than once – it’s just a thing. That’s why, sometimes it’s nice to head to a small bar for a night out because at least you know you’ll stick with all your mates for the evening.

But what if you absolutely positively have to go to a club but still don’t want to lose your mates? Well, two blokes from Rotherham have created the solution: the world’s smallest nightclub, Club 28. And it’s legit too: in order to be recognised by Guinness World Records it had to be open to the general public and charge an entry fee (50p, in this case). It also contains two turntables, a proper dance floor, disco lighting and even security staff outside.

Size-wise (the interesting bit), the club/shed is 6ft 7in tall, 3ft wide and 5ft deep, which is essentially enough room for about six people, so the bouncer can’t do shit if you’re acting up and it’s full capacity, because he won’t fit in. Don’t act up though, obviously – it’ll be very clear to everyone who the dickhead is.

One of the creators, Gerard Jenkins-Omar, says: “We decided to break the record as part of bringing something fun and different to Rotherham. The town has suffered from a lot of negativity in recent years so we are actively looking at ways to improve the ‘good feeling’ in the area and improve arts and culture whilst engaging local people.”

It first opened at Rotherham carnival, but it’s not exactly big (that’s the whole point, in fact) and it’s mobile, so I’m sure you’ll see it at other places around the country. Just make sure you bring a spare pair of black socks that you can pull over your trainers just in case they insist on smart shoes for entry.

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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", PDAs, not having eczema anymore, hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the eczema thing though. @garyblogden

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