“Dispatch, the suspects have green hair, red noses and the footprints appear to be size 36.”
While this might sound like a line plucked from some circus-based, B-movie horror film, it’s not a million miles from what’s actually occurring in South Carolina right now, with news that residents are being terrorised by clowns.
That’s right, evil clowns, recently spotted scaring the bejesus out of residents in Greenville, South Carolina, who have been warned that anyone 'politely terrorising' the town dressed in clown outfits could face charges.
After initial reports claimed that people with luminous noses, make-up and large shoes might be attempting to lure children into woodland, police told the public that if they saw anyone matching that description they needed to call it in.
“We will arrest you. We don't want to, but we will," said police, who added that there was already an order in place that prohibits “molesting, disturbing or following persons".
“This is something that we’re taking very seriously, especially because of the allegations of people dressed in clown outfits trying to lure children into the woods,” added deputy sheriff Ryan Flood.
The spate of incidents first started after deputies last week were called to an apartment block where people had reported sightings of creepy-looking clowns. From there, a family reported that their child had seen a man wearing a clown mask in woods at a nearby apartment block, while a woman then claimed to have seen a man in a clown outfit standing outside a launderette, staring at her in absolute silence.
Commenting on the big-nosed terror, Police Chief Ken Miller said, “It's illegal. It's dangerous. It's inappropriate and it's creating community concern so it needs to stop,” adding that the perpetrators “only stand in an area to be seen and watch the reaction of individual.”
And now the 'invasion of killer clowns' gets even more terrifying...
Reports have emerged that sightings of creepy clowns has spread to North Carolina, in the city of Winston-Salem, where police are now doing extra patrols in one neighborhood after two children reported seeing a clown trying to lure kids into the woods with sweets.
Needless to say, Carolina is in the grip of clown terror. Though thankfully there has been some speculation that the sightings are part of a large PR stunt connected to the release of Rob Zombie’s latest independent horror movie, 31. And if not, it certainly won't have done the film's publicity machine no harm.
Less so Carolina's upstanding clown business of course. Spare a thought for Bonko who has to put food on his family's table.