You know, I used to like old people.
My grandparents: absolutely awesome. Got stuck in during the war, generally good citizens, gave me sweets, cooked a mean Sunday Roast. Absolutely no complaints. Other, non-relative old people: generally alright, fought for our freedom, a few great stories, bit grumpy on buses but, in the main, good eggs.
Now though? Now they can do one. Because not only have they given us the precious gift of Brexit - which really does seem to be going absolutely swimmingly as the EU sinks to its knees and caves in to all of our demands oh hang on no it’s actually completely the other way round isn’t it - but now, now they’ve really taken the biscuit, because they don’t even want us to get a day off for the Royal Wedding.
Yes, you read that right, according to a YouGov poll, a massive majority of those miserable bastards aged over 50 think that there shouldn’t be a national holiday when Prince Harry and Meghan Markle tie the knot next May. And the proportion against a day off increases when you hit the 65+ age bracket - fully 64% of them don’t think there should be a bank holiday, with only 24% in support.
59% of 50-65 year-olds are against the holiday, with only 29% in favour, while there is support for it in the younger age groups: 51% of 18-24 year-olds and 46% of 25-49 year-olds are in favour of an extra holiday next year.
I’ve tried to reason with this but there is only one conclusion to be taken from this - given that a good few of them will be retired - and that’s: we’re already off work, relaxing in our massive houses that we own, coining it in from our big juicy pensions, and we don’t want younger people to get even an extra drop of enjoyment from life, even though it literally wouldn’t affect us at all.
Unsurprisingly, given the relative age differences in their average voter, the results are replicated along party lines, with Labour voters keen for a holiday, the Lib Dems and UKIP slightly against it (UKIP would probably be all in favour if Hazza wasn’t marrying a foreigner) and the Conservatives strongly against it. The SNP, too, are not keen, but that’s fairly understandable given the whole ‘independence’ thing.
We’re also sad to report that the lads are letting the ‘day off’ brigade down, with women more in support of a day off than men. Look guys, you may not be as interested in Meghan’s dress as the ladies, but Beckham might be there in a suit again so that would surely be worth watching it for.
But the take home message here? Don’t give up your seat on the bus for an old person next time (actually do because you are a bigger person than that and perhaps, maybe you’ll be rewarded in the next life even though you sure as hell aren’t getting rewarded in this one).
(Images: YouGov / iStock)