Boy gets giant meat skewer through his head, somehow survives

Posted by
Gary Ogden
Boy gets giant meat skewer through his head, somehow survives

This is most definitively what you do not want to happen to you

So, like, you’re playing in your treehouse, just having a right old whale of a time up there, and then suddenly you are besieged by a wasp - what would you think? You would think: this is bad

Then, if you swatted it away, but lost your balance and fell out of the treehouse, what would you think then? Probably: this is even worse, how could things possibly descend further? 

Well, maybe if your face landed on an upright meat skewer that you’d jammed in the ground earlier, and it went all the way through your head and out the other side. Yes, agreed, that would be how things could get worse.

This is what happened to Xavier Cunningham, a 10-year-old (yep) from western Missouri. 

A big old meat skewer went right through his goddamn head, and - we didn’t tell you this part - he then got stung by hundreds of wasps, while there was a meat skewer sticking out of his skull, covered in wasps, meat skewer in head, wasps and meat skewers, stung and impaled, MEAT SKEWER THROUGH THE NOGGIN, STINGS IN THE SKIN. What the hell.

Xavier’s stepfather, Shannon Miller, said:

“He fell down on it.

“He said he felt something hot and burning in his face and then saw the end of it and immediately knew what had happened.” 

He then said that he ran towards the house, covered in wasps, shouting “Get them off me! Get them off me!”, adding:

“I think the yellow jackets were more painful for him at the time.”

This is a bad day. When you think you’ve had a rough 24 hours because you got a crack in your phone screen or you walked to the bus stop with your flies open or something, just think “At least I didn’t get stung off a load of wasps and then slam my head on a big meat skewer.” Just think that and you’ll probs be OK mate.

But back to Xavier - somehow, the humongous pole that plonked right into his bin missed everything important and just nipped straight through out the back of his neck - like, not ideal, but could have been so much worse. 

Koji Ebersole, director of endovascular neurosurgery at the University of Kansas Health System, said:

“We were worried about how hard to pull the device because it was buried so deeply, [but] after an inch or so, it started to move more freely.”

“The depth that thing passed through the skull and this child being awake and talking and alive […] It’s flabbergasting.”

You can say that again. 

“How was your weekend Xavier?”

“It was flabbergasting.”

Xavier is currently in hospital but is looking at a full recovery, which is absolutely ridiculous. This boy has had an actual, literal meat skewer through his actual, literal head, and he’s fine now. What a legend that boy is. Pole Boy; The Indestructible Skull; The Skewer Wooer, here to save the day. Commission this film right now.

Get our best stories, delivered daily for free


Share this article


Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the screaming thing though. @garyblogden

Recommended by Gary Ogden

  • Sport

    Five must-know exercises that help prevent common gym injuries

    Don’t tense up, seize up or get beaten up by your body, find top prevention tactics, right here!

    Posted by
    Mr Hyde
  • Sport

    The 13 most embarrassing football injuries ever

    How is it possible to be this stupid

    Posted by
    Tom Victor
  • News

    More people than ever are injuring themselves during sex, here's where they're doing it

    Stop being so adventurous, you nymphomaniacs

    Posted by
    Gary Ogden

Other people read

More from News

More from Gary Ogden