I was in a hotel at the weekend and the plug socket was not next to the bed, so I had two choices: plug my phone in across the other side of the room and hope the alarm wakes me up in the morning; or stick it by my bed and hope it doesn’t run out of battery before the alarm goes off.
I chose the latter, but it essentially meant I couldn’t sleep without my brain involuntarily waking me up every 15 minutes so that I could check the battery. I ended up not needing the alarm because I was already awake. What a laugh.
This is a shared problem, it seems; a problem I share with an engineer from Birmingham called Jake Archer. Only whereas I chose a terrifyingly precarious situation to put myself in, he thought on his feet and sorted it out.
During a stay at the Premier Inn in Bridgend, Wales, he noticed that, like me, there was no plug socket near his bed. So instead of flipping a coin and having a sleepless night, he just used his black belt in feng shui to fucking rearrange the entire room.
He also had another reason for needing the phone so near to the bed: the snooze button. I, as the type of person who gets up on the first alarm, do not have to deal with this, so I can only imagine the sweating, shaking stress that his body will have been under as he stood in silence in the middle of the room, working out what to do.
But as you can see in the picture below, he managed it, even if it did block the entrance to the toilet - let’s hope he didn’t need a wee in the middle of the night. Either way, it worked it out though didn’t it? Enjoy your uninterrupted sleep, Jake, you’ve earned it.
Archer talked to the Daily Mail about his experiences dealing with hard-to-reach plug sockets (bet he’s a riot at dinner parties):
“It drives me insane.
“I think this is one of those first world problems that a lot of people find very annoying.”
I agree, it is and it does. According to Jake, he mentioned that he did return the bed to its original position afterwards, just in case any of you are having a feng shui-triggered panic attack right now. Calm down, it’s all OK - he put the wheels right back in their carpet dents, everything is going to be fine. It even covered up the wet patch on the carpet after he couldn’t get into the bathroom in the middle of the night.
So yeah, well done Jake and being enterprising enough to move a bed while I was lying there staring at the ceiling - you’re a better man than me.