May 9, 2015: Ed Miliband’s Labour Party take the lead in three leadership polls, as it looks increasingly likely that the Doncaster North MP will become Britain’s next Prime Minister.
June 20, 2017: Ed Miliband, who did not become Britain’s next Prime Minister, is guest hosting Jeremy Vine’s Radio 2 show and today he invited listeners to ring the station and talk to him about their toilets.
Life comes at you fast.
So yeah, the former leader of the opposition has taken Milifandom to the airwaves, seamlessly moving between riveting Brexit chat and introducing the latest Haim single. Ed on the radio, away from flashing camera lenses and Jeremy Paxman as he tucks into his lunchtime sandwich, vocal delivery on a par with Wogan. He is actually really good.
Yesterday, Ed was commended for somehow managing to transition from a delicate conservation about extremism into playing A-Ha. That takes skill. The hot topic of show number two was a glamorous one, as the the nation’s hottest new deejay challenged his inner Partridge and launched an in-depth debate about different types of toilet.
Do you have an OLD toilet at home? With a high-up cistern? Pull handle flush? Do you love it? Want to tell Ed Miliband about it on Radio 2?— Tim Johns (@timoncheese) June 20, 2017
The phone-in was inspired by a new report from the charity WaterWise, which claimed dual-flush toilets are to blame for a huge amount of water wastage every day. I doubt that many people think about what flushing mechanism their loo uses, but that’s precisely why we have Ed Miliband behind a mic.
The were far too many highlights of the 15-minute feature to cover in detail here (honestly, just go back and listen to it), but we enjoyed the call from Lucinda, a staunch advocate of the old-fashioned “thunderbox” shitter, who was so out of touch that DJ Ed had to explain the dual flush system to her.
Today on his Radio 2 show Ed Miliband is discussing toilets. It is excellent. "Tell us about your toilet, Lucinda". "I've got two Crappers"— India Knight (@indiaknight) June 20, 2017
Ed Miliband is now talking to 9m+ people on national radio about a victorian toilet called a “thunderbox”— Mikey Smith (@mikeysmith) June 20, 2017
After pausing for a brief musical interlude courtesy of Justin Timberlake, Ed came back for round two, ending a genuinely unmissable radio segment with a call from Lorraine in Northumberland. "I'm in the toilet," she said, before quickly clarifying, "Well, not in the toilet."
The nation was treated to the sound of her thunderous flush, which got the seal of approval from – let’s just remind ourselves again – the man who only two years ago was campaigning to kick David Cameron out of number 10.
“I think that wins the flush of the day,” he confidently announced. “It's Ed Miliband, sitting in for Jeremy Vine, and we've been talking about toilets.”
Whatever you do, don’t miss tomorrow’s show.