The three best things in football are set in stone to the point that no one will even try arguing with them.
In third place you have a comedy own goal, while in second it’s 22-man brawls, with added bonus points if the commentator describes it as ‘The last thing anyone wants to see’.
The undisputed champion, though, is an animal – preferably a dog – on the pitch.
The ‘dog-on-pitch’ genre can take many forms, most if not all of them absolutely adorable.
A prime example arrived in the Europa League, where a very good boy got a belly-rub from Macedonian goalkeeper Filip Gacevski.
However, things went up a level in Argentina, where not only did a dog end up on the pitch in a match between Juventud Unida and Defensores de Belgrano, but it made a fantastic goalline clearance.
If you had ever wondered how many dog and football crossover puns it was possible to make, it turns out the answer is “No, somehow even more than that huge number you were thinking of”.
You’d have thought needing to limit it to goalkeeper puns might have cut down on the options, but people are surprisingly imaginative in these situations.
There’s only one thing for an intervention of that quality…