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Cards Against Humanity are stopping Donald Trump from building his wall

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Alex Finnis
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Cards Against Humanity are stopping Donald Trump from building his wall

You know Cards Against Humanity as the very crude, definitely-not-PC game that gets wheeled out at bad house parties, or if you’re me - for some bizarre reason - last year’s family Christmas.

But now the game company have become unlikely heroes in the resistance against President Trump, by taking genuine action that could stop him from building his fabled wall along the Mexican border.

How? Well it’s pretty simple: they’ve bought a plot of vacant land that sits across the border, and hired a top law firm specialising in ‘element domain’ to make it as difficult, expensive and time-consuming as possible for Trump’s ludicrous pipe-dream to ever become reality.

Trump sees the wall as his magnum opus - the one semi-permanent mark he can leave on the world other than the scar he will leave on all of our memories - if he is prevented from building it by a company which makes a silly card game? That would be delicious.

The company have set up a website called CardsAgainstHumaitySavesAmerica.com. The homepage reads: “It’s 2017, and the government is being run by a toilet. We have no choice: Cards Against Humanity is going to save America.

“There’s no time for questions—now is the time to act. You give us $15, and we’ll send six America-saving surprises right to your doorstep. It will be fun, it will be weird, and if you voted for Trump, you might want to sit this one out.”

The ‘surprises’ include an illustrated map of the land, a certificate of promise to fight the wall, and some new cards for the game, however, the project has already been so popular that the initial run of 150,000 slots sold out in less than a day.

“Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans. He is so afraid that he wants to build a $20 billion wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing,” reads the website.

“So we’ve purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built.”

The site also has an FAQs section, which includes questions like: “Is Cards Against Humanity being politically correct now?”

Their reply: “We’re just being regular correct.” 

Cards Against Humanity are stopping Donald Trump from building his wall 1

Another questions reads: “I don’t like that you’re getting political. Why don’t you just stick to card games?”

Their answer? “Why don’t you stick to seeing how many Hot Wheels cars you can fit up your asshole?”

Obviously they haven’t changed that much.

(Images: Rex/Cards Against Humanity)