Right, before we go on, get a new email lined up to your line manager.
Ready? Now read on.
A nice quirk of next year’s calendar means that, for the early bird, there’s a whopping 18 straight days of holiday on offer for the price of just 9 days. That’s 18 days away from that boss you hate, those annoying co-workers, the dreary march towards death… and 18 days in the sun, with your loved ones, your best mates, or hiking solo through a remote Mongolian desert. Hey, you guys do what you want to do, we’re not here to judge.
Next year, Good Friday falls on 14 April and Easter Monday on April 17, swiftly followed by the May Bank Holiday on 1 May. Therefore, if you book April 18-21 and April 24-28 off work, you’ll net yourself a full 18 day break, doing your last day of work on Thursday 13 April and not returning until Tuesday 2 May.
Of course, this is usually a good spot anyway to get a long break – this year would have seen 10 days holiday turned into 16, but next year’s dates are particularly advantageous.
Now, you’ve got all that? Now copy and paste the below text into the email we told you to set up earlier and you’ll be away.
I would like to book April 18 to April 28 as holiday for next year (2017). I have officially called first dibs with no returns so when the other people in my team belatedly realise the bonanza that’s on offer and message you to request the same days off, kindly point them in the direction of this missive and if they have to stay in the office to cover for me instead then that’s their own bloody fault and they should have given me more biscuits in the past year and made me more cups of tea. And even then I wouldn’t take pity on them, because they annoy me with their incessant whistling and terrible jokes, so they can suck it up.