The best Alan Partridge moments of all time

There are so many of the best Alan Partridge moments to choose from that whittling this list down was almost as painful as putting a foot through a spike. Over some 30 years, Steve Coogan's embarrassment-prone broadcaster has stayed both relevant and utterly hilarious, which each new Alan Partridge show bringing fresh, relatably-cringe worthy facets to this all-time comedy character.

Now, after a long wait, we're finally getting another Alan Partridge TV show. How Are You? It's Alan (Partridge) has hit our screens, with Alan leading a BBC 'documentary' after he returns to Norfolk having spent a year in Saudi Arabia.

The experience makes him question the state of the nation, and the 6-part series becomes an examination of mental health issues.

“Britain’s first ever documentary about mental health”, according to Alan. Yep.

Well who better than Alan Partridge to tackle that thorny issue? Let's hope the show ends up contributing to the list of top Partridge moments below.

It’s great to see that Steve Coogan still isn’t bored of playing him, because when Partridge is good, there's nothing funnier on TV - as these best Alan Partridge moments prove…

The best ever Alan Partridge moments

1. "Lynn, I’ve pierced my foot on a spiiiike"
From: I'm Alan Partridge — The Colour Of Alan

Alan has a big job. He's the host of the 'Dante’s of Reading' fireplace conference at a posh club house. The problem is, he's annoyed one of the security guards so can't get in. Not content with being left outside he decides to climb a fence and impales himself on a spiiike. The speech afterwards is typically wince-inducing.

2. "You’re a mentalist!"
From: I'm Alan Partridge —To Kill A Mocking Alan

One of two scenes from To Kill A Mocking Alan in this list. Alan, trying to please two TV executives, tries to put on a live Sunday afternoon version of his TV show. To seal the deal, he takes them to his 'home' which isn't actually his home but that of Jed, his biggest fan. Jed, however, has created a shrine to Partridge which includes a body tattoo of his face. And, for some strange reason, that puts the execs off. We'd say this could easily be a joint top-spot moment.

3. "Come out ye Black and Tans!"
From: This Time With Alan Partridge, Episode 4

Alan's big BBC comeback was already on shaky ground, but when 'Alan Partridge impersonator' Martin Brennan turns up on the guest couch of prime time BBC show 'This Time', Alan's in for trouble. All Alan really wanted to do was show a great pre-recorded clip about police dog handlers — instead we get Brennan's IRA singalong. This is Coogan at his absolute character-comedy best — despite being onscreen for only a few minutes, Brennan is as well realised and memorable as anything Coogan's ever done.

4. “DAN! DAN! DAN!”
From: I'm Alan Partridge — Brave Alan

This episode from the legendary Steve Coogan show will live in the hallowed halls of British sitcom history because of Alan’s utterly deranged and maniacal screaming, before nonchalantly saying: “He’s not seen me. I’ll get him later.” Astounding.

5. "Stop Getting Bond Wrong"
From: I'm Alan Partridge — Never Say Alan Again

What do you do when someone tapes over The Spy Who Loved Me and you are trying to get through all of the Bond movies on a Bank Holiday weekend? Well, you act it out of course, complete with humming the theme tune.

6. "Sunday, bloody Sunday!"
From: I'm Alan Partridge — To Kill A Mocking Alan

Steve Coogan has Irish roots so we guess it's okay for him to joke about U2's song that's based on The Troubles in Northern Ireland. For him the lyrics "really encapsulate the frustration of a Sunday." "You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think 'Sunday, bloody Sunday!'"

7. "Monkey Tennis?"
From: I'm Alan Partridge — A Room With An Alan

“Arm-wrestling with Chas and Dave?” “Youth-hostelling with Chris Eubank?” and of course “inner-city Sumo?” All are desperately suggested as Partridge comeback shows, but to no avail. Then comes the pièce de résistance, as a flustered Alan jabs his fork into a big block of cheese and offers Tony a smell. When Tony refuses, Alan thrusts it into his face and utters the unforgettable line “smell my cheese you mother!”

8. "Jurassic Park!"
From: I'm Alan Partridge — Towering Alan

With BBC commissioner Tony Hayers now dead, Alan chooses his funeral to try and get into the good books with his replacement - it's his only way out of the Linton Travel Tavern, so he's determined to get something commissioned. Does it work? Well, kind of. He gets a £200k a year job - all he needs is a signature and, well, the rest is history...

9. "Liquid football!"
From: The Day Today

Alan Partridge's World Cup Countdown to 1994 takes us through some fantastic football clips with his own unique commentary. "That was a goal". "Twat". "Liquid football". "He must have a foot like a traction engine". "Eat My Goal". So many catchphrases from around 90 seconds of amazing TV.

10. Alan de-robed
From: Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa

When news circulated that an Alan Partridge film was in the works, the comedy-loving world held its breath. Could Partridge successfully make the jump from small to silver screen, without losing the very parochial essence that made him so unique? Some how, outstandingly, yes. Part Die Hard, part Partridge, Alpha Papa sees Alan's beloved radio station under siege from a disgruntled DJ. The film's full of memorable scenes, but we almost wet ourselves watching Alan's less-than-graceful exit through a small window — and the unintended nudity that ensued.

11. "With a penis where your nose should be"
From: This Time with Alan Partridge, Episode 3

You can always rely on Alan to deliver a nuanced report on sensitive, hard-hitting subjects, making him the perfect host for a segment on historical corporal punishment. But using the latest in cutting edge computer graphics, Alan takes a more literal trip down memory lane, transported back into the body of his childhood self to relieve his harrowing personal schoolboy experiences. With special effects like this, who needs AI deepfakes?

12. "You are nothing!"
From: Mid Morning Matters

Mid-Morning Matters is Partridge gold but wasn't watched by many when it aired on Sky. You should check it out, though, especially for this moment when his radio team prank him pretending to be the tax man. Tim Key gets it in the neck the most, with Partridge saying: "Never ever ever ever ever ever ever do something like that again. You are nothing, while I... am Alan Partridge."

13. "Ecstasy pellet"
From: Alan Partridge's Scissored Isle

Alan takes an "ecstasy pellet" in this episode which sees him chatting amiably with some youths for most of the night about Lewis Hamilton. "I was still on the dance floor at 8am this morning, at 10 o'clock I had a meeting with the mayor," says the voice over. And then we see a sweaty Alan try and stay composed through the interview whilst grinding his teeth.

14. BONUS: Literally every Alan Partridge book

Seen all of Alan's TV and bigscreen outings? As any self-respecting Partridge fan will know, you're doing yourself a major disservice if you overlook the absolutely hilarious Partridge books. Written by Alan's own hand, delivered in first person, they are jam-packed with Partridge witticisms and anecdotes, hours and hours more of Coogan at his best. If you can get them, they're even better as audiobooks, where Coogan reads them in character.

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All Image Credits: BBC / Sky