Forget the wheel - and the internet can jog on. The greatest thing in world is bacon. Fact.
But its status as the undisputed 'best thing ever' is in jeopardy with the crushing news that it may reduce fertility in males.
Researchers from the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health found that men who ate a great deal of processed meat - such as bacon and sausage - had a lower success rate during fertility treatments than men who tended to avoid it.
Dr. Rebecca Sokol, president of the American Society for Reproductive Health said, "Many studies have shown that diet can affect human fertility, but our diets are so complex that it is difficult to tease out how particular food types may affect reproductive outcomes. This study suggests that the type of meat a man consumes may influence his sperm's ability to fertilize an egg."
Men who ate the most processed meat had a fertilisation rate of 54 percent, compared with 82 percent for men who consumed the least.
However, after that shocking bombshell, some good news: chicken is fine and dandy and good for your chances of reproducing. The fertilisation rate amongst men who ate lots of poultry was 13 percent higher than those who ate little.
And a further bonus: overall meat consumption doesn't affect fertility. Other commentators also suggested that there could be confounding factors at work. Dr. Elizabeth Kavaler, a urology specialist at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City said, "Perhaps it is not the meat that is the problem, but the dietary choices that men who eat bacon make. Healthier dietary choices usually correlates with a healthier lifestyle, which may overall increase fertility outcomes."
We think we can conclude from this that everyone should just eat chicken and bacon sandwiches, then everything should even itself out nicely.