Sometimes, genius occurs where you least expect it.
A scorching 40-yard volley from your useless right-back who’s just decided to put his boot through it because it’s the 88th minute, and why the fuck not. A diamond in a coal mine. ‘Dakota’ by the Stereophonics.
And it’s happened again in the pages of the legendary comic Viz.
What we expect from Viz: absolute hilarity and profanity, and ridiculous top tips like this:
What we don’t expect: actually, genuinely genius life advice like this:
What a great idea.
This led to other people sharing their own ‘top tips’ for avoiding people:
I had a mate who told me he looked thru the spyhole and put shaving foam on his face to get rid of people who knocked on the door he didn't want to talk to, to make them leave. Two years later, after a long pause when I knocked, he answered the door to me like that.— guy (@quantumpoker) November 14, 2017
Haha. No. We're British dammit. It was all in the eyes though. He buggered off to the US shortly after, not seen him in 15 years.— guy (@quantumpoker) November 15, 2017
But one doubting Thomas pointed out a possible flaw in the system:
"Oh, where are you off to? I'll walk along with you". Nightmare— Hoxton J. Wanka III (@hoxtonwanka) November 14, 2017
There was another excellent life hack suggestion for ending that unwanted phone call:
If my husband is on the phone with someone he wants to get rid of he opens the front door and rings the bell and says he has to go because there’s someone at the door.— Tricia Vater (@Bobble21) November 15, 2017
But, really, perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised that Viz has given us a piece of actually-useful life advice. After all, these other top tips are all equally perfect for improving your everyday life:
Well done Viz, well done.