Tinder is good, I think, because you can shag on it, and you can’t say that about most apps, unless of course you load up the Nationwide banking app on your phone and literally shag on top of it. Tinder is the shagging app, though - it’s for shagging. But there’s a lot of competition on it, ain’t there? Lots and lots of people on Tinder, all trying to snog each other, all stopping you from snogging, because your profile is bad.
Your pictures are all bad, your bio about “birds, booze and banter” is painful, and your opening gambit of “Hey, I… I… erm, I thought maybe… umm… that we could, sorry I don’t usually do this, but… erm, I’m sorry, I…” sounds like you’re saying it in real life, for some reason. So what do you do to stand out on the peacock app? How do you rise above the swamp of open shirts and over-sized sunglasses? How do you not be “a dick”?
Well, you could try something different, like old Sam, 21, University of Leeds, 37 kilometres away, did.
He went and did a Powerpoint presentation on the app - replaced all your standard photos with a succinct intro to his interests and qualities. It’s gone all viral, thanks to Twitter user @GracieBarrow1 stumbling across it and hurling it out onto the Internet, and it is *quite good*, and it is *here*:
Annoyingly, we aren’t privy to all the slides, so we don’t know the full extent of his plan, but this quick glimpse shows at least a bit of effort. Well done, Sam, hope you get a snog out of it.
Sure, it’s been done before, but it’s still different enough to make an impact in amongst all the tigers and elephants and whatever other fucking animal it is that you’re distressing by putting your hand on its back. To be honest: do whatever you want on that godforsaken app - someone will kiss you for it. AT LEAST THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT HA HA HA CRY CRY CRY.