Most people don’t know how rubbish their CV is – hell, I haven’t properly updated it in ages. I don’t think at this stage in my life, anybody still cares that I know how to make hot dogs at the cinema – I should probably delete that part.
But there’s a load more stuff you should delete, too. Data company Pay Scale carried out some research and found a bunch of offending skills that appear to do more harm than good when it comes to CVs. The analysis involved finding the 25 skills that yielded the biggest pay hits, with the very worst of them achieving a 15.4% negative pay gap. Not good, basically.
So in case you’ve got any of them on your CV, I’ve included the full list below so that you can check. Get out that tooth-comb, buddy.
2. Property management
3. Data entry
6. Call centre
7. Help desk/help support
9. Intuit QuickBooks
12. Computer hardware technician
16. System repair
18. Document preparation
19. Customer service
21. Online research
22. Paying invoices
23. Phone support
Very enlightening, actually – although if you think any employer will be impressed by the fact that you can type, then you’re probably heading for a knock-back.
Additionally, I did some research of my own, and I’ve found another 25 skills that will not be conducive to nabbing a new job. Here they are:
4. Eating loudly
6. Breathing too much
8. Extremely competent in doing that thing where you point to someone’s chest and when they look down you flick them in the face
9. Encarta 95 proficient
10. Loud. Just very loud
11. Being cool
12. Femidom expert
13. Cat and dog stroking
14. General sluggishness
15. Sweating, with additional experience in stinking
16. Fox hunting
17. Tripping over
18. Can make a mean goulash
19. Expert in blind ignorance
20. Moderate experience in paper cuts
23. Once smashed a mirror cos I don’t give a shit
24. Seven years’ experience in bad luck
25. CV writing
You’ll have me to thank when you score that next position – you’re welcome. Enjoy the spoils.