Films

There's an extremely surprising new candidate to be the next to play Bond

Posted by
Gary Ogden
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There's a surprising new candidate to be the next to play Bond

A new contender has entered the ring, and he wants that tux!

So, Danny Craig’s slipping off the dinner jacket, binning the Walther PPK and heading off to the Bahamas for a well-earned rest - a good 12+ years of playing James Bond has come to end. So who’s gonna replace the big man?

Well, rumours abound that it’s going to be a one Mr. Henry Cavill (read why we think that’s a good idea here), but a new candidate has put his keys in the bowl, and he’s a GREAT fit. That super secret action man?

Liam Payne.

When asked which role he’d love to play, he told The Sun:

“I mean James Bond straight off let’s be honest.

“I love Daniel Craig as Bond, not to say he is the best Bond ever but it’s up for discussion.”

Yeah “let’s be honest” - the most charismatic member of One Direction has to be James Bond. Keep the rushed hand tattoos, keep the Wolverhampton accent, let him wear a gross beanie and it’ll be the best James Bond we’ve ever seen.

Seriously, Liam Payne - this Liam Payne:

There's a surprising new candidate to be the next to play Bond 1

You know, the coolest popstar to have ever lived? Let him be James Bond, we reckon. You don’t want some massive posh bloke who looks like he could handle himself in a fight and has literally played Superman, mucking it all up, do you? You want Big Payno absolutely decking some henchman with a mic-stand, doing that weird half-smile he does and then using his intense, legendary charm to deliver a knockout quip, like, I dunno:

“Hope you’re not in too much PAYNE. Hope it’s not too much to BEAR.”

Then he’ll slowly turn and start walking out of the room, but just as he’s about to leave, he’ll spin round for one last twist of the knife:

“Because of my son. My son’s called Bear. That’s why I said Bear.” 

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This is the Bond we all want and need. A 25-year-old Bond with some chevrons tattooed on his forearm. Henry Cavill? Schmenry Schmavill, more like - he’s got nowt on Big Payno.

HAHA

ONLY

JOKING

There's a surprising new candidate to be the next to play Bond 2
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Gary Ogden

Shortlist writer and "the least woke person in the office", Gary Ogden, likes horror movies, Cheestrings, tapping his leg under the desk, "having a drink", hiding from responsibility, screaming into the mirror whenever he is alone, and assorted other things. Mainly the screaming thing though. @garyblogden

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