What better time than American Independence Day to revel in the craptitude (shut up, it’s a word) of the worst that the UK has to offer.
If there’s one thing we love in this country, it’s one-upping each other on how terrible everything is. Or one-downing each other, if you will.
So, not content with the race to the bottom that is a ‘shit towns’ list, this ilivehere.co.uktop 10 carries the calls of folks who live in, lived in or just passed through some of the worst parts of this country.
There are full essays, if you can call them that, on the anti-pride expressed by folks with ties to Blackpool, Bradford, Luton and more, and we’d feel irresponsible if we didn’t share some snippets with you. Far be it from us to lay into your hometown – we’re leaving that to the experts.
So here they are, the 10 worst towns in the UK, according to the survey:
“Up until the 80’s the town was still marginally habitable and family friendly. Nowadays it’s just an open sewer on so many levels.”
“Come to Oldham meet the locals, it will make you feel better about yourself.”
“I’ll leave you with my hopes and wishes on that you’ll never visit Sunderland as long as you live.”
“No one can even walk about Gravesend town centre without getting threatened, spat at and so on.”
“Bradford is literally hell on earth.”
“Rochdale, once described by Monty Python as a quaint Northern village, I am sure you already recognise this as a misnomer of the greatest degree.”
“Their [sic] are two things good for Scunthorpe:
- Scunny utd were beating Chelsea after 8 minutes.
- It takes about 5 minutes from the town centre to get out of the dump and go to a better place!”
“Walking into a pub in Luton meant putting your life on the line."
2. Kingston Upon Hull
“Hull is shit, as confirmed by the smell that lingers around the city centre (which was also subject to a recent series of in-depth reports on Look North – which basically concluded that shit smells).”
“Let us for a moment imagine that the British Isles are the silhouette of an old man. Scotland is his cap, Cornwall his toes, Anglia his curved spine making Dover his herpes infested s**t-hole.”